Jeremy16 wrote:The Conch Shell of Sorrows
Framing Fiction - I like seeing the Umbra make an appearance, but that afterword should have been placed, you know, at the end.
Yes I believe you are right with that I made the errata correction, but somehow I sent it to a different thread by accident, thank you Wolfglide for the repost.
Jeremy16 wrote:Cedrik Paddock – a human “doppleganger” is an interesting concept and I like that his past ties in so well to what he eventually becomes. I would have liked him to have spent a little more time in other reality altering domains; Vechor seems like a natural option. That would give him more gravitas in his chosen field of expertise.
I am not a big fan of Vechor, I like the background of Easan the Mad and his ties with the mechanical golem Ahmi Vanjuko. I also prefer the Nightmare Lands as a concept tied with Lovecraft themed stories more than Vechor.
Jeremy16 wrote:Saulbridge Sanitorium – I love the return of this old asylum and the good doctor McClintock! It makes for a very Lovecraftian setup, and I am sucker for things like that.
We have John Mangrum to thank for that.
Jeremy16 wrote:Douglas Danton - This anchorite fellow is an interesting NPC but it's really the Soul Searcher Medallion that is the star of the show. It was hard for me to keep the stories of his friends Alinda and Bran straight and Douglas himself seemed like a bit character in the overall drama of the household. Also, I'd prefer him to be more proactive and seek out Cedrik instead of running away from him.
I actually created this character a few days before submitting the article after I wrote the fiction, because I thought that since I mention him I should write something about him, then the article went off the rails as I ended up adapting the Dungeon Magazine adventure
The Unkindness of Ravens). The Soul Searcher Medallion is the star of the show since the FoS don't own one and is one of the magical items created before Ravenloft became a campaign setting.
Jeremy16 wrote:Also, I'd prefer him to be more proactive and seek out Cedrik instead of running away from him.
This could be a failed horror check... (I just made that up... excuses....excuses)
Jeremy16 wrote:The Unkindness of Ravens – I am not familiar with this adventure so I can't say how well it is adapted or even tell what parts are original and what have been adapted. The focus on knights and wereavens makes it seem like it would be more at home in Barovia because a castle in Mordent would stick out like a sore thumb.
The Mordent Cartographic Society placed it in Mordent so I followed that "fan canon", for me it is OK why should everything that has something to do with ravens should be situated in Barovia? We already have the Keepers of the Black Feather there, wereravens exist in other places too.
Jeremy16 wrote:Also, who and where are all these other unnamed wereraven protectors and what have they been doing all this time?
This was vague in the original adventure calling it an "Unknown Kingdom" so it originates from the place where Prime Material Mordent existed. Since there is no information on that I left it vague myself.
Jeremy16 wrote:The Six Artificers – Its hard to keep track of all these boons and oaths and curses. Is having six wereraven protectors not enough? Having six ghosts haunt the underground dungeons seems a bit much.
This was all in the Dungeon magazine adventure which I didn't want to change many things, I just wanted to do the minimum to adapt it to Ravenloft.
Jeremy16 wrote:Dread Possibilities – I'm calling a flagrant foul for violating the rules for Dread Possibilities. If a DP is over a page long it may as well just be woven into the surface story! j/k
Red card accepted.
Jeremy16 wrote:The White Tower / Ghost Warrior – Introducing too many characters without giving each of them room to grow and breath just makes this article seem crowded. This ghost is a good NPC to get PCs interested in the manor, though.
I created that to explain why the oaths taken in the white tower bind people into servitude, since in the Dungeon adventure there were many oaths with no exlenation whatsoever why they should be so powerful. The Ghost Warrior was thought based on that. Most of the characters mentioned in Crawford Manor were taken from the adventure itself and since they are detailed there I didn't want to rewrite them here.
Jeremy16 wrote:The Scarecrow – This is a little too overboard for me, but I do like the idea of Mr. Gaunt acting as an instigator and drawing the attention of the PCs. If he's bound to the medallion shouldn't he be able to follow Danton around? As for the DPs for this character, I'm not as enthused by them. (That dang Apparatus makes yet another appearance!)
Well the Apparatus is part of Mordent itself in my opinion, Mr. Gaunt had been in the original adventure and I had to find a way to make him obsessed with the medallion as in the original adventure he goes to take vengeance on the ravens that stole an amulet of protection. I am not a big fan of pumpkin monsters but thats how he was in the original adventure and didn't change that but thought I had to create some adventure ideas for him and thats what I thought of at the time.
Jeremy16 wrote:Ravienne – I like this interpretation very much. You have made it resemble Innsmouth much better than I ever could! I'm not a fan, however, of having an entire village being transformed (even though that cleaves closer to its source material). Rather, I'd prefer that these transformations are triggered by someone's actions and have them be slowly corrupted in both body and mind. That allows one or two holdouts that can ask for help and explain the lay of the land to the PCs.
Well your article inspired me for this one, so I am glad you like it. I didn't want the transformations to substitute Powers Checks, then I wanted some villagers to be affected and some stay "normal" since everyone participates in those ceremonies they should all have been transformed in some level and I didn't want that. Also I wanted PC's to be affected by transformations without knowing what might have caused it, making it more Lovecraftian horror.
Jeremy16 wrote:Dame Dominique – This is another great extrapolation of a NPC from a one line mention. Giving her tentacles for legs is very creepy.
She was based on a character by the Spanish movie
Dagon: La Secta del Mar (2001)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZg5iigPaHs
Jeremy16 wrote:The Conch Shell of Dagon – At first, having a magical item with a reality wrinkle didn't work for me, but after my second read thru I figured out that its the essence of Dagon that causes the reality wrinkle not the shell itself. This should have been explained more clearly. Also, I would like to think that the Dark Powers are smart enough to not trying and bring such a powerful entity and artifact into their personal playground, but maybe they didn't learn after the Vecna debacle. I mean, we're talking about bringing an Elder God into the demiplane!
Actually Paddock theorises that Dagons essence in the Conch Shell was responsible for the creation of the Sea of Sorrows before the Relentless appeared after the Grand Conjunction. When the Grand Conjunction collapsed the Dark Powers managed to manipulate the artifact's reality wrinkle making it smaller but altering reality in it as the essence of Dagon is condensed. So this is prior to Vecna's imprisonment in the Demiplane.
Jeremy16 wrote:The Spear of Dagon – I always like tidbits like this. Just like henchmen are useful foils for darklords, built-in adversaries or weaknesses are helpful at making NPCs more fleshed out and dynamic. My only problem is this lead is never followed up on. Why not spend a paragraph or two on that dread possibility? We can't have a bloodthirsty cult taking over a seaside town without a built-in antidote somewhere, can we?
This was also a last minute addition and I didn't know if someone has already written something about the Spear of Dagon appeared in John W. Mangrum's Teeny Tiny Tales of Terror project (contributed by Gemathustra), from posts on the Fraternity of Shadows message board.
Jeremy16 wrote:Transformation Tracks – Very nice details on this. Reminds me of terror tracks from the old days.
There is one missing though (special transformations) was accidentally left out, I have it in the QtR28 errata and hopefully will appear in the final pdf.
Jeremy16 wrote:The Caller From the Deeps – This is an interesting monster but I'm a little confused on how it ties into the article's theme? Is this an avatar of Dagon or just another sea creature that has been drawn to the Conch Shell? Anyways, it makes for a nice reveal as the true menace after the PCs dispatch Dame Dominque.
I found this monster in D&D 3.5
Stormwrack environment book but I made it bigger and stronger, an armageddon kind of monster. As I see it is the manifestation of Dagons essence (not avatar) that is conjured in the deepest parts of the Sea of Sorrows. In the Forgotten Realms there was the concept of "wild tides" so this is like a manifestation of a "wild tide" in Ravenloft.
https://forgottenrealms.fandom.com/wiki/Dagon
Jeremy16 wrote:Drowned Ones – I love cannon fodder monsters like this that have unique and creepy characteristics. Anyone with a fear of drowning will want to avoid these things.
I found these in the 5e Caller of the Deeps monster description and adapted them for 3e
Jeremy16 wrote:Overall Impression
There is a lot going on here. And while I like all the ideas, the two scenarios (the haunted tower and the evil seaside resort) don't connected very well. Maybe they should have been split into separate articles.
You re right, at first I had written only the seaside stuff but after writing the fiction I adapted/created also the Crawford Tower stuff in the article. I guess this is obvious from the way these are connected, only though the brief interaction of two NPC's which is not a really good connection, I know.
[/quote]I would have liked more interaction between Dame Dominique and Cedrik. I wonder if they would they get along? Or are they working at cross purposes?[/quote]
I wanted to leave that on the DM to choose if Paddock is in cahoots with Dame D, or if he is an adversary or just a person who is objective interested only in his research.
Jeremy16 wrote:Also, I would have loved to see a little scenario outlined where Dame Dominique succeeds in summoning the Caller from the Depths and what happens afterward.
Well you only have to use it in your campaign and see