Horror movie survival guide

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frandelgearslip
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Horror movie survival guide

Post by frandelgearslip »

Me and a friend were trying to decide which horror movie we would least like to be in (final destination edged out nightmare on elm street) and that lead to us trying to make up a horror movie survival guide for specific horror series. It does not have general rules since no rule is universal. I would appreciate any suggestions for various movie series (anything that has at least one sequal).

Rules for surviving Friday the 13th:
This is done from a guys point of view (since I'm a guy), a female version is needed.

1. The majority of Friday the 13ths the survivors consist of the main character (female) and her boyfriend, so the key to surviving is to be the boyfriend.
2. You're in luck because the main character is unattached (and even if she has a boyfriend he will be a jerk and die early in the movie).
3. The key is deciding which unattached girl is the main character (since most teenagers in the movie will be unattached).
4. Look for the nice girl who is not nerdy, loose etc. In most cases it should be the most average girl (in personality not appearance). Alternately try the girl with the dark past. If there is both an average girl and a dark past girl go with the dark past girl. If you still can't decide go with a blonde over a brunette and a brunette over a redhead. The final factor is appearance go with the most attractive.
5. Now once you have decided who the main character is try to form a relationship with her, this is the key and since this is not a romance guide you are on your own.
6. If the girl is not chaste with you (you know what I mean, kissing is okay) abort abort abort. You have picked the wrong girl. If there is still time go back to 4, if there is not time go to 8.
7. Stay with the girl throughout the movie until she figures out a way to stop Jason go to 9.
8. You have two choices either you pray that this is one of the rare times when there are more than two survivors in which case go to 7 or you decide to have the quickest most painless death go to 9.
9. Jason hates cowards. If your cowardly he will kill you in a very painful slow way. If your brave and try to fight him hand to hand or with meele weapons he will kill you quick and relatively painlessly. If your the boyfriend this means that acting cowardly will get you killed, while being brave will get you injured and possibly knocked unconcious, but Jason will leave you alive while he goes after the girl.
10. In a Jason movie without the standard two survivors the key is to figure out that Jason is killing people as early as possible, since the majority of people die before anybody realizes that anything is going on. So constantly check on everybody throughout the movie to make sure they're still alive. To prevent yourself from being ambushed while doing this travel with somebody of the same gender as yourself.
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alhoon
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Post by alhoon »

Hey! Flan! Long time it has been. I didn't know you were still wandering the mists.
"You truly see what a person is made of, when you begin to slice into them" - Semirhage
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ScS of the Fraternity
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Post by ScS of the Fraternity »

Good guide Frandle, I'll tatoo it on my arm just in case.
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