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Manofevil · Post by **Manofevil** » Sun Oct 21, 2007 11:16 pm

J. Karn: Neither! I'm sueing them for copyright infringement, and the sons-of-dogs are countersueing!

Malus Sceleris: What's your stance of global warming?

cure · Post by **cure** » Mon Oct 22, 2007 2:09 am

Manofevil wrote:Malus Sceleris: What's your stance of global warming?

Malus Sceleris: "Global warming? What global warming? What globe are you warming? And why did you think that I should deign to offer my opinion on it?"

Count Strahd XI, who is the Dread Elf Pirate of Lake Baratok anyways and why do you put up with him?

HuManBing · Post by **HuManBing** » Mon Oct 22, 2007 6:56 am

Strahd: Oh, he's the black sheep of the family. As a child he always used to wear frilly lace cravats and high heeled boots. Great-auntie used to get so angry with him when she found him stealing her lipstick and hair volumizer.

Since then he's been traipsing around the land having all sorts of what he calls "high level encounters". He won't tell me what these are (and frankly I'm not one to ask) but I do suspect he has acquired the "fey" template.

Dear Azalin: Have you ever noticed that official biographies of you mention not a single word of your mother? What's up with that, eh? Eh?

VAN · Post by **VAN** » Mon Oct 22, 2007 7:12 am

Azalin: Nothing to say actually, I never understand her. She wasn't a ruler and she loved her children! A realy strange woman!

Dear Godefroy:

Which is your favorite TV series? Desperate Housewives?!

Scarycount · Post by **Scarycount** » Thu Oct 25, 2007 7:28 pm

Godefroy: I like aqua teen hunger force. Surely the creator of that show must also be a tormented soul who gets no sleep at night.

Dear Azalin, seriously, Strahds on the other side of the continent now. Can't you let bygones be bygones?

Gwenfloor · Post by **Gwenfloor** » Thu Oct 25, 2007 8:21 pm

Scarycount wrote:Godefroy: I like aqua teen hunger force. Surely the creator of that show must also be a tormented soul who gets no sleep at night.

Dear Azalin, seriously, Strahds on the other side of the continent now. Can't you let bygones be bygones?

Azalin: Whoever said distance would stop my pursuit for revenge? I'm a Wizard! As you RPGers would say, I have more powerful class features than any mere mortal!

To Meredoth: Why do you seem to be a carbon copy of Victor Mordenheim? Both of you have obsession with death, both of you live in a cold region, and both of you have a fetish for mad science and crazy experiments!

Rotipher of the FoS · Post by **Rotipher of the FoS** » Thu Oct 25, 2007 9:05 pm

Meredoth: Science? Science?! Imbecilic hokum concocted by impertinent drudges in pathetic envy of their spellcasting betters! I'd beat that mundane necromancer-wannabe out in a golem-assembly contest, any day of the week. And as for being a "carbon copy", I'll have you know my domain's about fifty years older than Lamordia, so he's the one who's a copy!

Dear Alligator Lenny,

Have you ever considered a gentle, moisturizing lotion? It's gotta be a more effective cure for that skin condition than sewer water....

cure · Post by **cure** » Thu Oct 25, 2007 10:29 pm

Rotipher of the FoS wrote:Dear Alligator Lenny,

Have you ever considered a gentle, moisturizing lotion? It's gotta be a more effective cure for that skin condition than sewer water....

Alligator Lenny: Hmmm . . . . I am not sure about that. You seem to know more about this stuff than me. Why don't you come by and show me how it is done, especially as I have trouble reaching the worst spots on my back. Say at the dinner hour tomorrow evening?

Oh all knowing, all seeing God-Brain, do you think Lissa von Zarovich is the sexiest woman in existence or rather a spoiled harlet who should have her head ripped open like a rusted can of sardines?

Scarycount · Post by **Scarycount** » Thu Oct 25, 2007 10:42 pm

God Brain: Who says she can't be both? Perhaps you know more about this than I however, your human concepts of sexiness are utterly alien to me.

Dear Adam: I've heard from the esteemed Strahd how he feels about Dracula, but I forgot to ask weather you feel any resentment over not being as famous as the Frankenstien monster.

cure · Post by **cure** » Fri Oct 26, 2007 1:58 am

Scarycount wrote:Dear Adam: I've heard from the esteemed Strahd how he feels about Dracula, but I forgot to ask weather you feel any resentment over not being as famous as the Frankenstien monster.

Adam: My therapist insists that I keep a low profile and in particular that I don't attract the attention of the paparazzi. And I think that she is right. I can see myself tearing the paparazzi limb from limb, after stuffing their cameras up their orifices. So let Frankenstein have his fame. Lot of good it did him.

Oh all seeing, all knowing God-brain: Come on and tell us what you really think; who is sexier Lissa von Zarovich in something tight and slinky or an illithid in drag?

Sylaire · Post by **Sylaire** » Fri Oct 26, 2007 8:47 pm

God-Brain: Not having any generative organs myself, and therefore not being subject to reproductive urges, I find your question clearly self-serving and designed not as a request for information but as an attempt to gratify yourself with humor at the expense of others. However, as I did agree to respond to questions in this thread, I will attempt to ascertain the answer by placing you into a room with several dozen drunken Falkovnian soldiers back from six months on the front lines. I will psychically influence half of them to see you as Lyssa von Zarovich and the other half as an illithid male, both clothed identically as a Dementlieuse fille de joie. Please let me know the results.

Dear The Garden's Shadow: Who has a better singing voice, you or Robby Benson?

Don Fernando · Post by **Don Fernando** » Sat Oct 27, 2007 11:27 am

Garden Shadow: With all the pain in my heart I would have to say Robby Benson. But only because he has full support of the record companies. I haven't been able to find someone that is willing hear to my records. There are no reliable record companies around The Land of Mists. I am trying however to go on my own, but gold is very difficult to come by, specially with the actual shortage of wandering heroes.

Dear Daclauth Heinfroth: Do you enjoy frozen brains as much as we enjoy ice cream on a mid summer's day?? And for that matter, do you get brain freeze by drinking frozen cerebral fluids too fast?

cure · Post by **cure** » Sun Nov 04, 2007 3:11 am

Don Fernando wrote:Dear Daclauth Heinfroth: Do you enjoy frozen brains as much as we enjoy ice cream on a mid summer's day?? And for that matter, do you get brain freeze by drinking frozen cerebral fluids too fast?

Daclauth Heinforth: You are suffering from serious delusions and moreover are afflicted with a quite worrying grey matter fetish. Still, do not do anything foolish and do not abandon hope. Instead, put ice packs on your head and be in my office at 8 AM sharp.

Dear Azalin Rex: Do you have any thoughts about Vecna escaping the grasp of the Dark Powers on his first attempt?

Rotipher of the FoS · Sun Nov 04, 2007 11:29 am

Azalin:

Only one: Hey, Vecna! Nobody likes a show-off, you obnoxious jerk!

Dear Anhktepot,

Which is more humiliating? The fact that you've lost your glorious empire, your revered status as the Blessed of Ra, and the adulation of your people? Or the fact that both of the other times you've been asked a question on this thread, they spelled your name wrong?

Sylaire · Post by **Sylaire** » Sun Nov 04, 2007 2:28 pm

Ankhtepot:

Given the difficulty of translating heiroglyphs into Balok, I'm just lucky that the word "teapot" didn't get stuck in there somewhere. Plus, observing the arrant stupidity and worthlessness of others helps to ease my suffering.

Dear Captain Van Riese:

Does the Flying Dutchman ever swoop over you and empty the ship's chamber pots onto your decks in a case of ghost ship one-upmanship?

Café de Nuit

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