QTR 29 - comments and reviews

[Mistmaster]

I've finally found time for my first batch of reviews...




Gundarak – Land of Oppression and Whim

The latest entry in Mistmaster's Mistworld is too metropolitan for me (a recurring problem for me with all these re-imaginings). I think the “feel” of the domain is lost when you add so much to it. Gundarak was a nasty little domain who's despotic ruler controlled every aspect of his people's miserable lives. Any PCs that found themselves there would want to get out of it as fast as possible. There was a feeling of isolation... that good had no place there. Now, it's just another domain with lots of people and cities doing what people do in cities.

Not that it is all bad. I really liked the twist added to Nharov Gundar's curse. With all of Mistmaster's articles the darklords are usually the highlight - they are all unique and interesting. It's the domain descriptions that fall flat for me. I guess I just don't need all the added window dressing!

Gundar still try to control every part of his poor subject's life, and about the cities, those two were there even in Canon, smaller, but they were there. Now there are more peoples actially doing things like people do, even rebelling. I can inderstand your feelings, but see, in the Mistworld, domains are nations and nations can't be only taiolr made cells for one nasty villain that the PCs wants to leave as soon as possible. That said, I'm glad you appreciated Gundar himself. Thanks for your review.

[Strahdsbuddy]

Just a comment, I'd like to thank Ian Fordam for putting NPC names in bold type during his articles; i noticed it first in his articles in this edition of QtR. It is something I am very thankful for as the first thing I do with any new product is look for mroe characters to add to the setting. I also liked both articles, particularly a trip back to a forgotten domain like Staunton Bluffs.

[IanFordam]

Also, it's creepy.

Also it is based on "true" facts
Most of it is a direct rip off of the Scholomance, a fabled school of black magic in Romania. I thought of making it a bit like the Dragonlance Towers of High Sorcery, since the tests of magic in Krynn was always one of my favourite elements of that setting along with Mr.

The elements of the Vremenar's succession is similar to the rules to become an Archdruid or Grand Druid in 2e D&D.

"To become an archdruid, a 12th-level druid must defeat one of the reigning archdruids or advance into a vacant position. The Great Druid (14th level) is unique in his region. He, too, won his position from the previous great druid. He is served by three initiates of 11th level."

"At 12th level, the druid character acquires the official title of “druid” (all druid characters below 12th level are officially known as “initiates”). There can be only nine 12th-level druids in any geographic region (as defined by oceans, seas, and mountain ranges; a continent may consist of three or four such regions). A character cannot reach 12th level unless he takes his place as one of the nine druids. This is possible only if there are currently fewer than nine druids in the region, or if the character defeats one of the nine druids in magical or hand-to-hand combat, thereby assuming the defeated druid's position. If such combat is not mortal, the loser drops experience points so that he has exactly 200,000 remaining--just enough to be 11th level."

This succession I believe was inspired by the rex Nemorensis (Latin, "king of Nemi" or "king of the Grove") was a priest of the goddess Diana at Aricia in Italy, by the shores of Lake Nemi, where she was known as Diana Nemorensis. The priesthood of Diana at Nemi was held by a person (in most ancient accounts a slave) who obtained that honour by slaying the prior incumbent in a trial by combat, and who could remain at the post only so long as he successfully defended his position against all challengers. However, a successful candidate had first to test his mettle by plucking a golden bough from one of the trees in the sacred grove.

Those trees in whose dim shadow
The ghastly priest doth reign
The priest who slew the slayer,
And shall himself be slain.

The Greek geographer Strabo also mentions the institution:

"and in fact a barbaric, and Scythian, element predominates in the sacred usages, for the people set up as priest merely a run-away slave who has slain with his own hand the man previously consecrated to that office; accordingly the priest is always armed with a sword, looking around for the attacks, and ready to defend himself."

So based on these I thought of the final challenge before becoming a Zagazmonari as well as the way the Vremenar succession occurs.

I always appreciate when authors talk about their inspirations. Quoting both the 2nd Edition PHB and an ancient Greek geographer, though, that's above and beyond.

[IanFordam]

Maybe I should create a timeline...? ^^; Or just a listing of the various articles going into this thing I'm making and which issues of Quoth the Raven they can be found in?
If it helps at all, I've written Mistipedia articles on most of what I've got up so far.

I've been thinking about this. Perhaps a Mistipedia entry which is specifically designed as an introduction to the concepts which you've been developing? It could provide references to the relevant QtR articles and links to more detailed pages, but I'm thinking that the main content would be a high-level summary of the people and creatures and societies and how they interrelate.

At least I managed to stat out two of the group's prime co-founders in Quoth the Raven #29.

If it reassures you at all, I'm always more engaged by the fluff than the crunch anyway. The crunch is useful, but to me the ideas are what's cool.

[IanFordam]

Just a comment, I'd like to thank Ian Fordam for putting NPC names in bold type during his articles; i noticed it first in his articles in this edition of QtR. It is something I am very thankful for as the first thing I do with any new product is look for mroe characters to add to the setting. I also liked both articles, particularly a trip back to a forgotten domain like Staunton Bluffs.

When running games, I've learned to make names easy to spot with a quick scan of my notes, and I just translated that habit over to my articles. Glad that it's helpful to you too!

[Jeremy16]

People of Misty Hollows

The Weschselkind have a lot of potential. Changelings are such a rich source of folkloric horror. Even though we have a version of that already with the Feyshot, another take is welcome. I get a very Pinocchio vibe from this entry.

The Laneshi are a unique take on merfolk but I don't seem them fitting well thematically with the campaign setting because of the necromantic bent, much like the author says.

The Ogresh are an interesting inversion of traditional ogre lore, but for some reason I don't find these guys very compelling.

The Downcast seem a little too high fantasy for me, but I've felt like that with Aasimar and Tieflings as well.

The Dreamers are a strange group, but seem less like a “race” and more like an interesting scenario to build up adventures from – someone's escaped the Nightmare Lands and now the Nightmare Court is trying to draw them back using any means necessary!

The Disembodied are the same deal. I could see this as a compelling alternate version of what happened to the populace during the Grim Harvest, tho'.

The Faevlin are creepy, but seem better as a monstrous encounter rather than a PC.

The Grudgel's have an interesting “little green man” vibe, and, as such, I could see them set up as a foil for the mindflayers of Bluetspur.

The Morbus Kobolt would easily fit into Richemulot and be a good alternative to the usual wererat shenanigans.

Over all, this is an interesting exercise of combining elements of both campaign settings, but I would have definitely liked to see some sample NPCs to flesh things out more.

[Jeremy16]

The Many Ravenlofts

It seems the older I get the less I like the idea of a multiverse; it just seems like lazy writing to me. World and character building are typically thrown out the window in exchange for a cheap gimmick: “Let's change an established character into a woman... ??? ... profit!”

Now that I got that out of my system, let's move on to the ideas presented in this particular article. Overall, I don't like the oddblall ideas such as sex-swapping darklords (Gender-Bender), scrambling up darklords and domains (Ravenloft Remix), or switching darklords into different monsters (A Different Beast). Ditto for the “It was all a just a dream...” type scenarios such as All the World's a Stage, Matrixloft, Nightmareloft, The Raven Show, Virtualoft, etc.

Here's a handful that I do like:

Ravenloft by Gaslight – I'm a big fan of Call of Cthulhu and Gothic Earth (of course) and this is kinda sorta their love child. Nice!

Post-ApocaLoft – I would actually like to see this “worst possible timeline” version expanded upon... Anyone here interested in fleshing out the Time of Unparrelled Darkness?

Anno Strahd – I'm aware of but still haven't read any of the novels. This would be quite a unique take but may be too similar to the World of Darkness books.

Darkhouses – This could be an amazing twist for a domain or two, but not the whole demiplane.

Ravenoir – I've never heard of Blood Shadows, but it sounds intriguing.

Ravenlost – The Lords of the Lost is another interesting concept, but I think a one-off domain would work better than converting the whole setting.

Core War – This could be the prequel for Post-ApocaLoft above...

Alienloft – An “alien” invasion of Ravenloft? You got my War of the Worlds stuck in my Ravenloft! No, you got my Ravenloft stuck in your War of the Worlds! I love this idea (see Cthulhu, Call of above).

Open Borders – This is a simple change that could open up massive upheavals. Many darklords might just come to the realization that they were kept in their cages for protection rather than torment!

[Hell_Born]

People of Misty Hollows

The Weschselkind have a lot of potential. Changelings are such a rich source of folkloric horror. Even though we have a version of that already with the Feyshot, another take is welcome. I get a very Pinocchio vibe from this entry.

The Laneshi are a unique take on merfolk but I don't seem them fitting well thematically with the campaign setting because of the necromantic bent, much like the author says.

The Ogresh are an interesting inversion of traditional ogre lore, but for some reason I don't find these guys very compelling.

The Downcast seem a little too high fantasy for me, but I've felt like that with Aasimar and Tieflings as well.

The Dreamers are a strange group, but seem less like a “race” and more like an interesting scenario to build up adventures from – someone's escaped the Nightmare Lands and now the Nightmare Court is trying to draw them back using any means necessary!

The Disembodied are the same deal. I could see this as a compelling alternate version of what happened to the populace during the Grim Harvest, tho'.

The Faevlin are creepy, but seem better as a monstrous encounter rather than a PC.

The Grudgel's have an interesting “little green man” vibe, and, as such, I could see them set up as a foil for the mindflayers of Bluetspur.

The Morbus Kobolt would easily fit into Richemulot and be a good alternative to the usual wererat shenanigans.

Over all, this is an interesting exercise of combining elements of both campaign settings, but I would have definitely liked to see some sample NPCs to flesh things out more.

Thank you very much for the high praise. I may do a final article for trhe 2023 QTR showcasing sample NPCs based on both this article and the Grim Hollow subclasses article I did in the 2021 QTR, if there's any interest?

I don't know if I can also get away with adding the mechanical backgrounds for each; these are third party books that have only recently been printed and made available to buy, so... I just don't know what the Fraternity's view of adding crunch from such books is, so I chose to be cautious and leave it out.

[Jeremy16]

Register of Monsters

I love this series of articles; it's such a grab bag of weirdness that there's always one or two ideas that really tickle me.

Avuul The Wretched Sovereign – This is a rather unique motivation for an undead serial killer! It reminds me of a reverse Ragman (from the Book of Sorrows netbook) or even Azenwrath.

The Egg of Eternity – I love this. Has anyone else ever heard of Egg-Fu? (Warning: Don't look him up unless you want to see an incredibly racist depiction from the Wonder Woman comics best left in the past.)

Megalovirus – I've always liked feyrs and this entity and its children are good examples of such creatures. The variation in appearance and personality each has shines thru in their depictions. The same goes for the Biophobias.


Markovia – Land of Healing and Harming

Peaceful co-existence between the human and Broke Ones population is just not my cup of tea. Having a beastman as Lord Bourgmaster of a town strains by suspension of disbelief too far. If half-men and half-animal amalgams are walking around everywhere it lessens their dramatic impact. Encountering a Broken One should be rare and revolting, not part of a typical day about town. I don't want Ravenloft to turn into a Thundercats cartoon!

Once I got to the Jaffa “Boss” Dayhogg and Jasse “Uncle Duckie” Duck entries I had to take a step away for a moment. Don't get me wrong. I love them ol' Duke boys, but crossing the Dukes of Hazzard with Island of Dr. Moreau is just too outre for me.

The bottom line is this just doesn't feel like Markovia to me. It is its own brand new thing with the barest of threads linking it to the original. And with three(!) competing versions of Markovia in one netbook, I have to put this one at the bottom of the list.


Return of Disambolet

What an amazingly novel concept. It takes an insane idea (two Frantiseks) and just runs with it. Bravo!

There's so much to love about this adventure:

There's the ingenious “trick” to finding the island. There's great callbacks to when the domain was attached to the Core (like Gorghu Grul and Skovby). There's wild cards like the Gorilla Queen and Mushtor. There's different factions of Broken Ones, which does a good job of introducing shades of gray to the proceedings. There's plenty of options given to PCs in order to resolve issues peacefully instead of going straight to violence.

Overall, this is just the right mix of Heart of Darkness (colonial invaders) and the Island of Dr. Moreau (mad science). I love that almost every faction has different maps and naming conventions. It reminds this history lover over early American colonial efforts, and I appreciate the attention to detail here.

[Baron Von Stanton]

Register of Monsters

I love this series of articles; it's such a grab bag of weirdness that there's always one or two ideas that really tickle me.

Avuul The Wretched Sovereign – This is a rather unique motivation for an undead serial killer! It reminds me of a reverse Ragman (from the Book of Sorrows netbook) or even Azenwrath.

Avuul, in one form or another, is an old character of mine, an insane ghost who is living out a Sisyphean hell of his own making. Outside of combat, he'd be theoretically easy to resolve by pointing out that, as a ghost, all he is is a soul, but, on the other hand, what good is a logic bomb to someone who is no longer capable of abiding by logic?

The Egg of Eternity – I love this. Has anyone else ever heard of Egg-Fu? (Warning: Don't look him up unless you want to see an incredibly racist depiction from the Wonder Woman comics best left in the past.)

I've seen Egg-Fu... Mind you, the Egg of Eternity is not based off of him, but I know who you're talking about. The original's design is salvageable with a lot of modification, and the updated version is hellish.

Megalovirus – I've always liked feyrs and this entity and its children are good examples of such creatures. The variation in appearance and personality each has shines thru in their depictions. The same goes for the Biophobias.

Megalovirus and the Biophobias are special categories among my babies of evil. I originally created Megalovirus' design by combining the forms of Biophobias 1 through 4 together.

[Mistmaster]

Markovia – Land of Healing and Harming

Peaceful co-existence between the human and Broke Ones population is just not my cup of tea. Having a beastman as Lord Bourgmaster of a town strains by suspension of disbelief too far. If half-men and half-animal amalgams are walking around everywhere it lessens their dramatic impact. Encountering a Broken One should be rare and revolting, not part of a typical day about town. I don't want Ravenloft to turn into a Thundercats cartoon!

Once I got to the Jaffa “Boss” Dayhogg and Jasse “Uncle Duckie” Duck entries I had to take a step away for a moment. Don't get me wrong. I love them ol' Duke boys, but crossing the Dukes of Hazzard with Island of Dr. Moreau is just too outre for me.

The bottom line is this just doesn't feel like Markovia to me. It is its own brand new thing with the barest of threads linking it to the original. And with three(!) competing versions of Markovia in one netbook, I have to put this one at the bottom of the three.

Well knowing your taste no surprise. Thanks for the review.

[IanFordam]

Return of Disambolet

What an amazingly novel concept. It takes an insane idea (two Frantiseks) and just runs with it. Bravo!

There's so much to love about this adventure:

There's the ingenious “trick” to finding the island. There's great callbacks to when the domain was attached to the Core (like Gorghu Grul and Skovby). There's wild cards like the Gorilla Queen and Mushtor. There's different factions of Broken Ones, which does a good job of introducing shades of gray to the proceedings. There's plenty of options given to PCs in order to resolve issues peacefully instead of going straight to violence.

Overall, this is just the right mix of Heart of Darkness (colonial invaders) and the Island of Dr. Moreau (mad science). I love that almost every faction has different maps and naming conventions. It reminds this history lover over early American colonial efforts, and I appreciate the attention to detail here.

I am immensely gratified that you enjoyed so much about this adventure. Thank you for the feedback!

[Jeremy16]

I guess it's time to dig into Mephisto's first article - Secrets of the City Watch. His contributions are always rich in lore so it usually takes a while to get thru them. Do I really have to comment on every single watch company? Sigh...

PORT-A-MUSEAU

Casques Safran (Saffron Helmets) – The obligatory Renier clan sycophants, pretty standard stuff.
Colombes Blanches (White Doves) – Another group whose only gimmick is being tied to Henry DuBois. That connection is played out for me.
Observateurs des Bateaux (Boat Watchers) – I like the idea of a dock patrol (I'm a fan of the old TV show Riptide), but would drop the slaver angle (I always thought these rumors were nothing more than a cover-up for wererat killings).
Lions de La Rue (Street Lions) – I know their name and DP is drawn from canon, but I don't remember this Pierre at all. Not a very compelling bunch.
Soleils Craimoisi (Crimson Suns) – Nothing special about these guys either, but I like that they serve as foils for the Lions de La Rue. This setup gives me ideas for a Romeo and Juliet style story seed.
Phénix Doré (Golden Phoenix) – A force that supposedly specializes in fine art robberies but facilities forgeries on the back end is pretty neat. This group could be expanded upon very easily and used by several interesting “art collectors” from all over the Core.
Ancre d’Argent (Silver Anchor) – This is a quirky entry. I love the idea of a captured reaver held in an underground aquarium (holy Creature from the Black Lagoon, Batman!). I also love that the nautical-themed group is lead by a loan shark.
Talon Cassés (Broken Talon) – Jerreteirre's return is welcome (I'm gonna use it in one of my future articles, as well), but it's not that strong of a hook. Silver Mercurium being a long-rumored and much sought-after universal allergen, however, is such a novel concept I can easily see an entire series of adventures being based around it.
Attrape-Ræts (Ratcatchers) – These guys are just okay, but the Fatal Attraction DP is intriguing. I like the reversal of the usual trope of the femme fatale. I even like Boris' backstory of running away from Ivana Boritsi's attentions because this guy's life seems doomed to be filled with obsessive tendencies (either as the object of desire or the one consumed by the desire).
Corbeaulames (Crowblades) – This is a good example of a commoner elevated to the nobility, but the backstory of the house founder is convoluted and unnecessarily dragged down by its ties to canon.
Loups Fous (Mad Wolves) – The same goes for this entry. Verbrekkan (sp?) immigrants forming a gang to protect their own people is a nice idea, tho'.
Verts Vibrants (Vibrant Greens) – I don't think a group of Rashemi immigrants would support a Mulan noble as depicted here. But, just like the previous group, I think an enclave of Hazlani ex-patriots is fertile ground for adventure seeds. I would rather have the immigrants be on the up-and-up and have the Church of the Lawgiver send agents to either return them to the fold or kill them if they refuse.
Bosquet de Cyprès (Cypress Grove) – A druidic order in the heart of the city is a nice addtion, but I really don't like the slave trade angle.
Coques de Sanglier (Boar Husks) – While this group isn't very distinctive, I'm amused by the fake wereboar DP.

STE. RONGES

Porte d’Eau (Water Gate) – I like Aaron Gannu as a long lost relative of Jacqueline and his aspirations for the throne. This is one instance where Mephisto's tendency to use exhaustive genealogy and extensive family dynamics is used to good effect.
Griffes à Ronger (Gnawing Claws) – This group is very plain, but serves as good fodder for Lame Gris and his mechanations.
Fléaux Fantômes (Wraithbanes)– I love a group of Mordentish Ezraites forming their own guard and their semi-symbiotic relationship with the swordwraiths.
Écailles de Dragon (Dragonscales) – Nothing special about these guys.
Yeux de Gorgon (Gorgon Eyes) – A group run by Halan witches is a admirable idea, but I hate the medusa angle. I can see the draw of such an idea but it is literally too far of a journey to get it from Tepest to Richemulot for me. Plus, this scenario reminds me too much of the Head of Baphomet DP from Gaz III.
Tuers de Chat (Cat Killers) – The introduction of Emili Traidou as a mini-Jacqueline Renier is great I like adding yet another antagonist against Lame Gris. The group's name, Cat Killers, might a little too on the nose, tho'.
Chiens de Garde (Watchdogs) – This one is a little too steeped in lore (The Pied Piper) and introduces too many players all at once.
Éléphants Hurlants (Screaming Elephants) – I love that they use elephant tusks as trumpets but the DP for this group suffers from same TMI as the previous entry.
Gantelets en Acier (Steel Gauntlets) – These guys are a nice, simple, and ready-made group of henchmen for Lame Gris' future coup attempt.

MORTIGNY

Jellicles – The Valanchani enclave and werepanther character are okay, but adding in the Hunt Club to the mix is just one twist too many.
Gardiens de la Coupe (Keepers of the Cup) – This is a good call back to the Echansons Heresy, but the group is strickly by-the-numbers.
La Serrure et Clé (Lock and Key) – I find Rogier's backstory filled with too many convenient coincidences.
Balance de la Justice (Scales of Justice) – The Avatar heresy is interesting and I like how the stain-glassed golem Lumina plays into its beliefs. I'm not sure if it gels with canon (I thought her adeventure took place in Darkon) but that doesn't really matter. She can easily get around to wherever the DM wants.
Protecteurs de la Musique Céleste (Protectors of Heavenly Music) – I like a musically-oriented group and love the return of Coda al Fin (another item I'm planning on using sometime in the future). This setup could easily lead into a full-blown adventure.
Lames d’Ange (Angel Blades) – Yet another new heresy (at least to me) is introduced here which is very nice. The Fifth Angel DP, however, goes overboard with the name dropping.
Tue-Loup (Wolfsbanes) – A group patrolling the border of Verbrek is a no-brainer, but I don't like that it is composed entirely of wererats. Why not have it composed of both human and lycanthropes, or tie it into the Brood of the Purple Moon? This also seems like a good spot to find in-canon lycanthrope hunters such as Revan Moonbane. What I'm getting at is that I just wanted to see a rare watch company composed strictly of heroic figures.
Bella Domna (Beautiful Lady of the House) – A Borcan-led watch company was inevitable, but reading pages of tortuous backstory was too much for me. Pass.
Exilés du Faucon (Exiles of the Falcon) – This introduces not one but two coup attempts into Richemulot's early history. I'm not sure if that follows from canon or not. While that presents a good backdrop for intrigue, it all becomes a bit too much in the end (Falkovnian lumber camps, barrels being dumped into a marsh, etc.). Also, I don't think a Talon (either former or current) would ever be elevated to a leadership position in this domain. Good idea, poor execution.
Berceaux de la Race (Cradles of Race) – This entry is dragged down getting too tied up with the previous one. I'm lost again.
Ombres de la Lune (Moonshadows) – In contrast, this group is tied to a couple of different organizations - La Maison de Cent Papillons and Academe d' Richemulot – but their various allegiences make more sense. Perhaps being smaller in scope saves it from the confusion above.
Confrérie de l’Araignée (Brotherhood of the Spider) – This druidic group fits better than the Bosquet de Cyprès in Pont-A-Musea. Instead of closing down the Les Jardins Vieux I would rather have this organization secretly tend the place and allow them to supply PCs with any type of chemical bane they needed.
Le Pacte des Hommes Libres (The Pact of Freemen) – This is another good idea tied to the early history of the domain, but bogged down by too much backstory again.
Sonneurs de Cloches (Bellringers) – I love the callback to the House of Tinctnoire, and the DP is very creepy.
Les Plumes Violettes (The Purple Plumes) – These guys are nothing special and the DP is overkill once more.
Roi Nu (The Naked King) – This entry continues my pattern of loving the group, but hating the DP. Anything that refers to The Emperor New Clothes is gonna pique my interest. The DP, however, is too similar to the Bellringers. I would have been happy with one member taking the schtick a little too far and become a Joker type who loves to play cat and mouse games with his former colleagues.
Les Paroles du Saint (The Words of the Saint) – I like the idea of a cult led by a charismatic leader (is there such a thing as a cult lead by an uncharismatic leader?) who believes he is a god, but the backstory is a little far-fetched for me.
Griffes de Démon (Demon Claws) – Yet another immigrant led group. This is an ingenious avenue of spreading the myth of the dragon from Mephisto's other netbook article.

Overall

Well, with 40 different groups spread across three cities there is something for everyone to sink their teeth into. But, with so much detail within and variety between the watch companies there are bound to some good one and not so good ones. Let me see if I can wrap this review up by highlighting how I felt about some of the major themes found here.

I love inclusion of all the immigrant groups. Richemulot is the only domain that actively recruits foreign people to move there and start a new life for themselves. This dynamic presents so many opportunities for a “fish out of water” type of story.

I also love all the scheming nobles outlined here. Yes, some of their biographies get a little long and convoluted but it highlights the flavor of the domain (where nobiles maintain control not by force but thru rumors and scandals) very well.

The many Ezran “heresies” described here also flesh out the culture by taking what was presented in GazIII and extrapolating from it.

That was the good, now on to the bad.

While I love me tie-ins, callbacks, and easter eggs, some of the characters in this article are tangled up with too much canon. Now, I know some people say that the more info given the better. And while I agree something is better than nothing, I'm a Goldilocks kind of guy and want my references to past materials to be just right.

I still have trouble with the DPs being overly long. The ones that are too heavy on the backstory introduce so many characters that it just ends up a muddy mess and lessens the impact I think the author was going for.

Speaking of going overboard, I don't like all the references to an actual Nova Vaasa slaver ring operating in this domain. I'll keep the rumors of a slave trade as just that – rumors. Besides, does Nova Vaasa and Richemulot even share a border? That seems an awful long way to go to get slaves.

[Mephisto of the FoS]

I guess it's time to dig into Mephisto's first article - Secrets of the City Watch. His contributions are always rich in lore so it usually takes a while to get thru them. Do I really have to comment on every single watch company? Sigh...

Did you really have to comment on every single company?

Casques Safran (Saffron Helmets) – The obligatory Renier clan sycophants, pretty standard stuff.

I enriched those with Copper plated Cassis Crista helmets (gladiatorial helmets), with saffron plume crests on them and their headquarters is called la Arène (the Arena). I changed the intro in the DP as such...

"Theoretical historians of the department of Historie Raisonnée of the University of Richemulot have speculated that the watch company has taken its name from the words Za’far an, meaning year of Za’far, known also as Zagaz, a demon worshipped by the Tergs. They theorize that the company originates from gladiatorial fights organised in ancient times as sacrifices to this god."

Colombes Blanches (White Doves) – Another group whose only gimmick is being tied to Henry DuBois. That connection is played out for me.

VIEW CONTENT:

Indeed but did you check their name? It is connected with vulnerability...
Happy Easter egg!!!

Lions de La Rue (Street Lions) – I know their name and DP is drawn from canon, but I don't remember this Pierre at all. Not a very compelling bunch.
Soleils Craimoisi (Crimson Suns) – Nothing special about these guys either, but I like that they serve as foils for the Lions de La Rue. This setup gives me ideas for a Romeo and Juliet style story seed.

Both are from our favourite 3e book Champions of Darkness

Ancre d’Argent (Silver Anchor) – This is a quirky entry. I love the idea of a captured reaver held in an underground aquarium (holy Creature from the Black Lagoon, Batman!). I also love that the nautical-themed group is lead by a loan shark.

More inspired by del Toro's The Shape of Water (2017) which by the way I didn't like... At first I had the idea of having sharks in the tank but a reaver was easier to maintain as they don't need salt water (and better than sharks). At first I had the Boatwatchers being the loan sharks but then this was more appropriate.

Talon Cassés (Broken Talon) – Jerreteirre's return is welcome (I'm gonna use it in one of my future articles, as well), but it's not that strong of a hook.

Just detailed the Dungeon adventure, there is much more there.

Attrape-Ræts (Ratcatchers) – I like the reversal of the usual trope of the femme fatale. I even like Boris' backstory of running away from Ivana Boritsi's attentions because this guy's life seems doomed to be filled with obsessive tendencies (either as the object of desire or the one consumed by the desire).

Destructive codependency at its best!

Corbeaulames (Crowblades) – This is a good example of a commoner elevated to the nobility, but the backstory of the house founder is convoluted and unnecessarily dragged down by its ties to canon.

The part that you like is from https://www.nwnravenloft.com/forum/inde ... ic=56042.0 the parts that you don't are mine

Loups Fous (Mad Wolves) – The same goes for this entry. Verbrekkan (sp?) immigrants forming a gang to protect their own people is a nice idea, tho'.

I will disappoint you, the watch company is not stated to be from Verbrek/Arkandale the nobles who support it are. The parts that you like are again from https://www.nwnravenloft.com/forum/inde ... ic=56042.0

Verts Vibrants (Vibrant Greens) – I don't think a group of Rashemi immigrants would support a Mulan noble as depicted here.

Well they are Rahemani Lawgiver fanatics (and mystics) not immigrants that escaped Hazlan. Their religious doctrine is to obey the Mulans.

But, just like the previous group, I think an enclave of Hazlani ex-patriots is fertile ground for adventure seeds. I would rather have the immigrants be on the up-and-up and have the Church of the Lawgiver send agents to either return them to the fold or kill them if they refuse.

I will answer this with a changed quote from you

"Besides, does Hazlan and Richemulot even share a border? That seems an awful long way to go to get (or kill) ex-patriates."

But, just like the previous group, I think an enclave of Hazlani ex-patriots is fertile ground for adventure seeds. I would rather have the immigrants be on the up-and-up and have the Church of the Lawgiver send agents to either return them to the fold or kill them if they refuse.

This is always an option for any DM, mine are suggestions.

Bosquet de Cyprès (Cypress Grove) – A druidic order in the heart of the city is a nice addtion, but I really don't like the slave trade angle.

Well since the heraldry for them has not been published yet I understand the confusion of "having druids belonging to a slave trade" (although I know you don't like the slave trade ring idea in general).

The Bosquet de Cyprès "claim to be the continuation of an order of druids that lived in a cypress grove before Pont-a-Museau was even built."

They aren't necessarily druids. Their heraldry (which is not published yet) is a wicker man, full with entrapped people, standing between two cypresses. Well since the Vaasan slavers are canon there has to be a way for them to pass to the west avoiding Falkovnia since it is a domain that patrols its borders and they would probably make any slaves state property. It's better business for the slavers to bypass Falkovnia and the slave ring is canon also from the gazetteer describing rumours (as you say) of a slave trade in les Champs Silencieux. Well the Silent Fields look like a "nice" distant location for illicit practices as smuggling. "Living contraband" can reach Tumbledown, Valachan (brides for the Baron), the Falkovnian Quarter of Karina, Falkovnia etc from there.

Écailles de Dragon (Dragonscales) – Nothing special about these guys.

Does every watch company has to be special?
Lord Mayor Governor Klaus Nellak is from Nocturne (Tales of Ravenloft)

Yeux de Gorgon (Gorgon Eyes) – ...but I hate the medusa angle. I can see the draw of such an idea but it is literally too far of a journey to get it from Tepest to Richemulot for me.

Well it is not such a big journey for brigands and outcasts (possibly smugglers too), they could have passed through the steppes of G'Henna and then Falkovnia, this is prior to the Grand Conjunction.

Plus, this scenario reminds me too much of the Head of Baphomet DP from Gaz III.

I disagree, the madusae effigy has no special powers of speech or anything like that, it is just a prison (such as the ones similar to an imprisonment, soul anchor or trap the soul spell). I believe the Baphomet DP is more closely resembling my Zagazmonari effigy fro my Twisting Tower article in this issue.

Tuers de Chat (Cat Killers) – The group's name, Cat Killers, might a little too on the nose, tho'.

I couldn't resist... at least they are not wererats

VIEW CONTENT:

only their bosses are...

Chiens de Garde (Watchdogs) – This one is a little too steeped in lore (The Pied Piper) and introduces too many players all at once.

Well I had to introduce the other characters that are mentioned in The Rat Trap (Dungeon Magazine #62)

Éléphants Hurlants (Screaming Elephants) – I love that they use elephant tusks as trumpets but the DP for this group suffers from same TMI as the previous entry.

Well it's from the same source as the ones you liked... https://www.nwnravenloft.com/forum/inde ... ic=56042.0

Jellicles – The Valanchani enclave and werepanther character are okay, but adding in the Hunt Club to the mix is just one twist too many.

Well the werepanther is mentioned in Champions of Darkness p. 4-5, 72 in a fiction similar to the Hunt Club and since the Hunt Club exists outside Mortigny I thought it was suitable.

Gardiens de la Coupe (Keepers of the Cup) – This is a good call back to the Echansons Heresy, but the group is strickly by-the-numbers.

The watch companies prime requisite is not to be part of the heresy the noble house that supports them is.

La Serrure et Clé (Lock and Key) – I find Rogier's backstory filled with too many convenient coincidences.

Well there was lack of motive for an alchemist philosopher who can cure his deformity with an elixir to ask the guidance of a demon. And the mark is not necessarily a coincidence but rather a way for the devilish book to corrupt the ones who read it... Ooops... As I read it gain I understood that I had made a mistake in the text, it should write "The book also mentioned a birthmark similar to the one he had on his thigh" and later identified as the Mark of the Chosen (I fixed it for the final version, thanks!).

Balance de la Justice (Scales of Justice) – The Avatar heresy is interesting and I like how the stain-glassed golem Lumina plays into its beliefs. I'm not sure if it gels with canon (I thought her adeventure took place in Darkon) but that doesn't really matter. She can easily get around to wherever the DM wants.

It is not specified in CotN:Created where the tiny church is it writes "a mile outside a city" the House of Sages and Mortigny seemed appropriate for it since the Avatar heresy search for Ezra's "avatar".

Lames d’Ange (Angel Blades) – Yet another new heresy (at least to me) is introduced here which is very nice.

I created this one and I changed the name of the heresy in the final version to L’Archange (The Archangel) it is more appropriate.

The Fifth Angel DP, however, goes overboard with the name dropping.

Well I wanted to include Cyran Devichi from the Book of Secrets (p.101), I know I overdid it...

Tue-Loup (Wolfsbanes) – A group patrolling the border of Verbrek is a no-brainer, but I don't like that it is composed entirely of wererats.

Well this is to use the charlatan possibility found in VRGtWerebeasts were he warns adventurers of whom they trust to hunt down lycanthropes. Also the natural enmity between werwolves and wererats makes it appropriate.

Why not have it composed of both human and lycanthropes, or tie it into the Brood of the Purple Moon?

Some used to be humans and now are inflicted wererats. How many wererats would trust their real nature to a human in Richemulot (domain of secrets)?
The Brood of the Purple Moon is in Verbrek and fights for freedom (or domination) in that backward land.

This also seems like a good spot to find in-canon lycanthrope hunters such as Revan Moonbane. What I'm getting at is that I just wanted to see a rare watch company composed strictly of heroic figures.

Well the Boar Tusks are close to what you suggest and I have already made many good aligned watch companies, don't forget that in Richemulot Gaz all the watch companies have an alignment of LE, at least in my article I have created diversity in alignments and purpose too and not just diversity in uniform.

Bella Domna (Beautiful Lady of the House) – A Borcan-led watch company was inevitable, but reading pages of tortuous backstory was too much for me. Pass.

I know of your allergy of long DP and name dropping but I actually like the storyline in this one, it makes nice background for political intrigue for an adventure in Borca.

Exilés du Faucon (Exiles of the Falcon) – This introduces not one but two coup attempts into Richemulot's early history. I'm not sure if that follows from canon or not. While that presents a good backdrop for intrigue, it all becomes a bit too much in the end (Falkovnian lumber camps, barrels being dumped into a marsh, etc.).

The events of the execution of republican instigators in 700 BC (by orders of then darklord Claude Renier), the imprisoning of revolting nobles in metal barrels and burying them in the depths of the mud of the Musarde River, is canon.

As Walter Benjamin had written "behind every fascism, there is a failed revolution" so I thought that the failed revolution of 700BC brought just that, more authoritarianism. As written in my article in QtR#27 Borcan Epic describing the backstory of the Liebesverbot opera mentioning the Exilés du Faucon for the first time.

The second revolt was after Claude Renier's death which is logical for nobles to instigate a revolt or coup after his death and against a Talon Lord Mayor. Having two coup attempts (in succession) is not something that hasn't been done in real history I can for sure mention the following from my country's recent history:

1967 Greek coup d'état on 21 April 1967, a group of right-wing army officers established a dictatorship, the Regime of the Colonels.

1967 Greek a counter-coup attempt on 13 December 1967, led by then-King Constantine II supported by the Air Force and Navy (both strongly royalist and not involved in the dictatorship) against the Regime of the Colonels. The failure of the counter-coup forced the King to leave Greece definitively, he subsequently returned to Greece but the abolition of the monarchy in 1973 removed his status as King.

Also, I don't think a Talon (either former or current) would ever be elevated to a leadership position in this domain. Good idea, poor execution.

This is the time of Claude Renier (who had the Progeny Control salient ability), the infected Talon who still wore his bracelets making him still loyal to Drakov was positioned away from Falkovnia to the south. Also a Talon's placement as Lord Mayor Governor of Mortigny after the failed revolt was adding insult to injury, something that suits Claude Renier's character.

Berceaux de la Race (Cradles of Race) – This entry is dragged down getting too tied up with the previous one. I'm lost again.

Well politics are complex so there are many factions who want to take over since Mortigny is too far from Jackie's power base. Also the canon is that many regard Jackie as a great ruler la Grande Dame for protecting them from Falkovnia so this makes space for nationalists to evolve.

Confrérie de l’Araignée (Brotherhood of the Spider) – This druidic group fits better than the Bosquet de Cyprès in Pont-A-Musea. Instead of closing down the Les Jardins Vieux I would rather have this organization secretly tend the place and allow them to supply PCs with any type of chemical bane they needed.

Well I never mentioned they are druids and I wanted to explain why the Les Jardins Vieux "the Old Gardens" which are located in another city Ste. Ronges have largely fallen into decay. Gazetteer III (p.104) mentions that some of the scientists from L' Herbier are working to rejuvenate its vitality, so there is no need for this noble house or their watchmen to do it.

Le Pacte des Hommes Libres (The Pact of Freemen) – This is another good idea tied to the early history of the domain, but bogged down by too much backstory again.

As said before Mortigny politics are complicated (and the backstory is mentioned elsewhere...).

Les Plumes Violettes (The Purple Plumes) – These guys are nothing special and the DP is overkill once more.

The DP is the outline of an adventure I had made...

Roi Nu (The Naked King) – The DP, however, is too similar to the Bellringers.

Well there is the catch that most believe it is just another case of Porters de Mort (Death Bearers) gone rampart while it isn't. It is for detective work style adventures as the Esprit du Roi Nu is an undead sadist serial killer than an avenging spirit and he can change bodies, possibly entering even a PC who is not a watchman (think of the Cedar Chest adventure from Book of Crypts).

I would have been happy with one member taking the schtick a little too far and become a Joker type who loves to play cat and mouse games with his former colleagues.

This is a good idea, but would probably need all this background story you are bored of reading in my DP

Les Paroles du Saint (The Words of the Saint) – I like the idea of a cult led by a charismatic leader (is there such a thing as a cult lead by an uncharismatic leader?) who believes he is a god, but the backstory is a little far-fetched for me.

Well it is part inspired by Rasputin's life and that of Louis Antoine de Saint-Just a major figure of the French Revolution who achieved a lasting reputation as the face of the Reign of Terror where he was named the Archangel of the Terror and to be such a charismatic psychopath he had to have an abusive father. Maybe it is far fetched with the "Saint" killing his father because he was afraid to sell him as he did with his sisters but there are people who are raised like that, so why not?

Griffes de Démon (Demon Claws) – Yet another immigrant led group. This is an ingenious avenue of spreading the myth of the dragon from Mephisto's other netbook article.

This is my least favourite, I just wanted to have a group dressed as demons.

In case nobody noticed the watchmen in Mortigny are mostly religious fanatics, political groups or theatre fanatics Jellicle's are from the musical Cats, the Griffes de Démon are dressed in Mephistopheles-like costumes and the Roi Nu are inspired not only by the "king's new clothes tale" but also by satirical costumes and works such as The Life of Gargantua and of Pantagruel written in the 16th century by François Rabelais.

I'm a Goldilocks kind of guy and want my references to past materials to be just right.

Where was I wrong?
Did I miswrite information from canon?

I still have trouble with the DPs being overly long. The ones that are too heavy on the backstory introduce so many characters that it just ends up a muddy mess and lessens the impact I think the author was going for.

Well when I have to describe intrigue or politics in a domain where the only nobles we have as canon are the Reniers I believe that there was a need to write those and explain the intertwined politics of the domain.

Speaking of going overboard, I don't like all the references to an actual Nova Vaasa slaver ring operating in this domain. I'll keep the rumors of a slave trade as just that – rumors. Besides, does Nova Vaasa and Richemulot even share a border? That seems an awful long way to go to get slaves.

Well a vampire has to feed without getting attention, what better way than a living blood bag in the basement brought from far away. A necromancer needs raw fresh materials for his experiments without drawing attention etc. What better way to do this than a slave ring, wherever there is demand there has to be a way for illicit and inhuman practices. Vaasan slavers being active doesn't imply that they bring everything from or selling them to Nova Vaasa it just implies that possibly the criminal overlord Malken has agents in many domains who smuggle contraband and people between the Core domains (and beyond). Then the money go back to Nova Vaasa... to buy chicken for Sir Hiregaard. The slaves could originate from any domain including purchases from the state of Falkovnia, selling and buying slaves in Har'Akir as well as selling women to Bluebeard. Abductions from various domains including Richemulot or smuggling slaves taken prisoners by pirates in the Sea of Sorrows is a possibility, after all Mordent is not famous for it's wooden or coast guard patrols the Lamplighters stay mostly in the towns. It was not only the Radanavich clan who sold people in Ravenloft when Van Richten began his crusade, there were others too, he just happened to bump upon this clan of slavers.

As always thanks for the review!!!

[Rock of the Fraternity]

Maybe I should create a timeline...? ^^; Or just a listing of the various articles going into this thing I'm making and which issues of Quoth the Raven they can be found in?
If it helps at all, I've written Mistipedia articles on most of what I've got up so far.

I've been thinking about this. Perhaps a Mistipedia entry which is specifically designed as an introduction to the concepts which you've been developing? It could provide references to the relevant QtR articles and links to more detailed pages, but I'm thinking that the main content would be a high-level summary of the people and creatures and societies and how they interrelate.

How's this? Is it helpful at all, or does it need something else or something more?