The Eye of Anubis: A Wedding Interlude

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The Eye of Anubis: A Wedding Interlude

Post by NeoTiamat »

Chapel of Ezra, Kamarn-Quse, Har'Akir
August 1st, 762, 3:40 PM

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"Nervous?"

Edmund tugged nervously at his cravat. "No... Yes. Do I look alright? Is this on straight?"

"It's not anymore. Give it here." Micheal leaned over from where he was setting up his music and helped sort out Edmund's necktie, giving it a cheerful pat when he finished. "Weddings! What monsters they are, to lay low a man who has faced down demons unflinchingly. That's why I avoid them at all costs." The guard gave a sly wink.

"I can't explain it. I want this more than anything, it's just, ah..." Edmund paced nervously back and forth, tugging at his cravat again and pulling it out place once more.

Micheal leaned over toward Kuzan conspiratorially. "You'd better keep an eye on him," he said, trying unsuccessfully to hide a smile. "In the Corelands, there's a tradition that if the Groom runs off, the Best Man has to marry the bride."

"Don't scare him off! Go set up your music," Edmund protested, weakly waving his hands at Micheal, who ran off laughing. "Don't mind him, Kuzan, no one does that anymore."

The guard captain gave the priest a warm smile. "I'm glad you're here," he said, sincere gratitude shining through every inch of his face. "Although for a while I thought you'd have to officiate. No offense to Professor Theroux, but... ah..."

Edmund unconciously turned back to look at where Andre was sitting. The professor was sitting near his patronness, who was dressed all in black, as though at a funeral. In all the time since she had arrived at the wedding, the Lorelei had said but two words.

"Bah. Humbug!"

The rest of the surroundings, most fortunately, were lively enough to make up for it. It was a lovely chapel, lit with a thousand little motes of light that swirled about the ceiling like stars. Some ancient artisan had done a skillful job of carving the shield and sword of Ezra into the wall. And if, sometimes, it seemed like the walls didn't quite align, or the room had too many corners, the cheerful chatter of the guests soon banished such paranoid mind-tricks.

Near the back, Sam turned to grin at Lily, who regarded him with an amused smile. Marilena sat with Pumpkin on her lap, shaking her head and chuckling about young people these days. Nearby, Nizam and Guy tried desperatly to pull Loup away from investigating Masal, before the big cat decided to remove the dog's face instead of her own.

===============================================

The bride's side of the room, in contrast, was mostly empty. A few spillovers from the groom's side had made their way over when the benches had gotten too crowded. Sitting in the front row were the bride's only two guests. The one nearest the aisle, a winged, dog-headed man with bird legs, was snuffling very loudly into a borrowed handkerchief.

"I never thought I'd see the day," Marchaosis sobbed. The horrible bug-man sitting next to him patted him on the shoulder reassuringly.

===============================================

The bridesmaids matched. As a matter of fact, they were identical twins, wearing identical white dresses, with identical low-cut cleavage, and as they descended upon Andre, wearing identical mischevious expressions.

"Can't you just feel the love in the air?" The sister with the lower-pitched voice asked, looking at Andre pleasantly. "Gives you ideas, doesn't it?"

Malice looked... gorgeous would be too simple a phrase. Radiant, beautiful, all were appropriate. But more to the point would be her ability to make the demure white dress resemble something which would cause impressionable young men to wake up in a sweat.

"Mmm.... we ought to start looking for husbands too..." Spite agreed. She smiled at Andre, putting a hand on his shoulder that made butterfly spontaneously arise in his stomach. "Before we get too old to find someone."

Seeing as she resembled a well-developed nineteen-year-old, too old was not something Spite had to worry about. A very well-developed nineteen-year-old. With millennia of experience in most anything one could ask about.

"Any suggestions on some eligible men we can find?" Malice asked, walking around behind Andre and putting a hand on his other shoulder. "You can tell us. I'm sure the Lady Grey won't mind..."

"If you don't... we'll just have to find one on our own." Spite ran a finger along the outside of Andre's ear. "So any suggestions?"

===============================================

"Er... excuse me... excuse me..." Professor Charles Devereux, presiding Official of the Government, tried to pitch his reedy voice loudly enough to reach the entirety of the chapel. He wasn't succeeding. "Excuse me..."

There was a sudden ominous hiss of energy, and Devereux's eyes glowed a bright, piercing pink-violet, like two fires in the darkness. His skin began to split slightly, revealing the violet radiance within. The people quieted down.

"Thank you." Devereux said mildly, going back to normal. "The bride will be coming shortly, so please find your seats."

"Begone, you foul, feathered fiend!" The disembodied, ghostly head of Professor Jean-Jacques Pelletier glared at Jervis's bird, Aya, which perched nearby. The giant, red-black crow watched the ghost-head as if wondering if one could pick out an incorporeal eye.

"Professor Pelletier..." Devereux said quietly. Pelletier floated over to his seat. Aya looked sad to see her plaything go. "Thank you."
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Post by Kaitou Kage »

"Stand still!"

Kuzan grabbed Edmund by the shoulders and tried to hold the man in one place. "Geez, you really are going to run off at this rate." The idea of following Core custom and marrying the woman that tried to kill him a thousand years ago gave him just a few chills.

The priest glanced helplessly to Dieter. How did he get into this mess anyway? This was so incredibly different from a Rajian wedding. At least he managed to avoid getting stuffed into one of those absurd black neck-choking suits.

"I'm your Favorite Man, right?" Kuzan said, not quite getting that right, "So listen to me. Take a few deep breaths and stop pacing! You're making everyone else nervous!"
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Post by Rock of the Fraternity »

"You speak for yourself," a moderately large pile of desert flowers says as it lumbers into the chapel. As it approaches the altar, the mound breaks up into smaller sections of wild flora, which distributes itself around the altar and various other places. It certainly brightens the place up, provided you don't know the kind of spiny, thorny horrors these blooms have been plucked from.

Standing in the place the blooms were, dusting her hands off - and extracting the occasional spine - is Lia, dressed in the same kind of drab, grey scholar's dress she wore back in Dementlieu. In her own words, 'black is inappropriate for weddings' - and the only other colour clothing she has in her packs is grey.

"You be as nervous as you like, Harris," the Wizard advises the captain. "It's not every day a man is wed. Especially to a bride so ... unique."

One might get the idea Lia is trying to be supportive and rein in her sharp tongue. It is considerably more difficult for her to rein in her sharp eyes, which keep slipping to the two demons and the Fey in attendance. "Good golly," she mutters as she, too, walks over to Edmund.

"I'll just wish you the best here and now, Harris," she says in a stern tone, beckoning imperiously to a bushel of desert flowers. Two blooms detach themselves from the whole and float towards her. One of the pair deftly inserts itself into the button hole of Harris' collar. "It is quite impossible to get carnatians out here in the desert," Lia explains briskly, "but I think these zaimanu do a good job standing in for them. Here. You give this one to the bride." The second, thoroughly de-thorned bloom hovers in front of Harris' hand.

Having bestowed this little gift on the happy groom - and in absentia, the bride - Lia stalks off to a seat at the very back row of the bride's section. The groom's section is rather full, after all, and she feels like a little space.
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Post by DocBeard »

"I OBJECT!"

A man stands in the shadow of the chapel doors, a convenient wind blowing his jacket to the left like a cape. His hands on his hips, Tomas Eisenwald steps into the light, grinning challengingly at the crowd and proceeding to tip his hat.

"Someone was going to end up doing it." Tomas reasoned, "Might as well get it over with early, before things really get started."
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Post by Rock of the Fraternity »

"Just be quiet and sit down, you big ham," Lia calls to Tomas, one hand pressed to the felt mask where it touches her forehead. "Bah humbug, indeed ..."
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Post by yalenusveler »

Andre for his part, was trying to avoid the rather..direct..attentions of the Bridesmaids to little appreciable effect. "Malice, Spite..let's just celebrate Edmund's happiness today. You're both lovely enough to secure husbands without my having to point out the eligible bachelors."

Unfortunately however, Andre's shadow had no such desire to be civil, all but slithering up the seat to coalesce into Andre's darker twin, his hair still the original black, and not the magic faded Grey that the professor's own had become. With what could only be a rather dapper bow to Spite and Malice, Andre's shadow spoke.

"Why bother with marriage? It ties you down, binds you, makes you into something you're not. And that's without your spouse being brutally murdered. After that..well, let's just say the effects aren't pretty." said the shadow with all the charm and grace of a Borcan used coach salesman, his last statement punctuated by a less than flattering glance at Andre.

"Break hearts, go for the married good ones, make them doubt their vows, betray their principles in thought even if they don't have the courage to do it in deed and once they've given up everything for the chance, leave them for someone else." He continued with a gleam in his eye that was..less than pleasant.

"Of course, if you must bind yourself down with religious idiocy piled on top of a social contract, there are certain cultures with a more..open concept of marriage. And being the shadow of a widower, I am QUITE available. Spite, Malice, and Betrayal has a delightful ring to it, doesn't it?"

"Ignore him. He's just bitter." Said Andre, trying very hard to avoid strangling his shadow in front of the Lorelei. It would after all, be rude to murder one's own dark side at another man's wedding.
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Re: The Eye of Anubis: A Wedding Interlude

Post by NeoTiamat »

Chapel of Ezra, Kamarn-Quse, Har'Akir
August 1st, 762, 4:00 PM

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"Places everyone, here comes the bride!" Remy hissed from the back of the room.

Promptly, the music began. Michel played the violin like a maestro, letting the sweet, gentle notes waft through the room. Such sweet music... then, as it reached a crescendo, the bride entered.

Due to the limits of time and mortality, the bridal procession was somewhat sparse, but what it lacked in people it made up in splendor. Before Menetnashte, drops of blood condensed out of the air, only to crystallize into tiny, brilliant rubies as they fell to the ground before her. As the Demon-Empress walked on her red path, a pillow with two golden rings floated before her, carried by the breath of countless centuries.

Menetnashte herself was clad in a shimmer gown of white, a thing of beauty and hypnotic allure. Her face was hidden behind a demure veil, but it was difficult to tear your eyes away from that unimaginable glamour. The bride was simply radiant.

Beside her came the living shadow, in place of the father of the bride. It swooped beside Menetnashte, almost respectable, transforming its shape into the semblance of upper-class formalwear, or at least a silhouette thereof.

As Menetnashte arrived at the altar, she favored Edmund with a shy smile, which the Mordentishman returned nervously. Both bride and groom turned to Professor Devereux.

Professor Devereux tapped the podium slightly for silence, before clearing his throat and beginning to speak. "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today in the presence of... whatever deity or greater power you personally acknowledge... including none, if so applicable... or, er, all of them, if you so believe-"

"Zombies!"

In the back of the church you could hear Carter faintly muttering to himself as he and Jervis kicked the undead horde back out the door. "Why does this always happen at weddings?" the Mordentishman asked the universe, shoving a zombie aside with his rifle.

"-to join this man and woman together in holy... or unholy... matrimony," Devereux continued, seemingly oblivious. "Which is commended to be honorable among all men; and therefore... is not by any... to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly-"

"Aaaah! Wyverns at the window!" Jervis casually meandered over and clonked the miniature dragon over the head. Carter shook his head as the two of them dragged the dizzy creature off the the side. "I've never even seen a wyvern before now!"

"-the union of the husband and wife in body, in spirit..." Devereux continued, raising his voice to be heard over the commotion, his eyes starting to glint violet again. "In heart, in soul... in all-consuming power-"

"Um... Professor?" Edmund asked, starting to look concerned. Menetnashte, for her part, looked rather amused. Behind them, Carter and Jervis roughly threw a pair of illithids out the window.

"-they make a commitment to stand together through all things, to stand by each other's goals, no matter how many innocents must be sacrificed-" Devereux's eyes blazed like twin suns, and he began to float a few inches off the ground. "The embrace each other no matter how far the other has fallen... to swear never to crush the other in their total world domination-!"

"Professor...?" Edmund was glancing nervously over his shoulder to where Lia's flowers had animated and were currently threatening to exsanguite the guests. Menetnashte pointed at one and disintigrated it.

"Jolly good shot, ma'am!" Carter called faintly from where he was hitting a flower with a shovel.

"I call upon the lords of madnes to bless this union!" Devereux started to chant, the air around him starting to flash with light. "Ki'q Az-Athoth r'jyarh wh'fagh zhasa phr-tga nyena phragn'glu-!"

"Professor!" Edmund commanded. Devereux landed with a small thump.

"I... uh... do you have the the ring?" The professor asked, adjusting his glasses. Harris quickly nodded and pulled the rings from his pocket.

"Er..." Devereux looked at the animated shadows that were starting to crawl their way up the podium. "Do you both want to get married?"

"I do," Harris said, firmly. Menetnashte nodded.

"O-oh good. You are," Devereux said, ducking behind the podium and holding his speech notes over his head. "You may now, er... kiss."

Harris smiled, the love evident in his eyes, as he handed Menetnashte the flower Lia had given him. Menetnashte smiled back as she removed her veil. Wrapping an arm around her slender form, Edmund leaned down and kissed her.

It was a very nice kiss. Even the monsters clawing at the windows paused for a moment to applaud. Carter stood and surveyed the room with some satisfaction that the whole place hadn't collapsed before the wedding was over.

"Sorry 'bout that," Jervis grinned, not very apologetically, as Marchaosis rubbed his nose. "Got a bit carried away."
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Post by Rock of the Fraternity »

"Ye gracious powers of goodness and light," Lia groans, cradling her face in her hands and muttering to herself. "I can not believe I willingly attended this ... ceremony. All it needs is Cavendish doing the catering for this truly to be the wedding blessed by the lords of madness ..."

The next moment, the Mordentishwoman shakes herself, rises and raises her voice, hands cupped around her mouth: "Alright, you're married already! Toss the bouquet, and let's raid the buffet and snatch what we can before we run, I need to get drunk!"
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Post by DocBeard »

"You really are a romantic, libschen." Tomas points out, wiping a tear from his eye. He can't help it, he always cries at weddings.
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Post by yalenusveler »

"I heard that Cavendish is going to do a comedy act." The Andres said in unison, before giving each other a disdainful scowl, "real" Andre going back to being proper in front of the Oracle, "Shadow" Andre still flirting with the two Fae Bridesmaids, when he wasn't contemplating necromantic potential of various deceased and sundry monsters about.

Because seriously, shoddy work on the zombies.
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Post by lostboy »

Sascha's stands and claps appreciatively at the newly weds. He'd made an effort on his appearnace one couldnt deny, ditcing hsi usual chainmail and tabard in favour of some scarred black armour with nasty looking spikes, his sword planted against a pew provided a steady drip of blood on the floor.

Absently he wipes up the blood with a big handkerchief, then making a little snuffling sound, uses the bloodstined rag to blow his nose.

"Why do I always cry at weddings?" he mutters to his neighbour, a thin man in black leather sitting with both feet up on the pew, who offers the knight a quirked eyebrow.

"Because they are most happy occasions Affendi" Khalil responds, a forkked tongue slithering over his lips "and because you must be quite well in touch with your sensitive side, no?" He adds absently, continuing to throw Karsh small treats that looks suspiciously like tiny gemstones.
Rock wrote:Toss the bouquet, and let's raid the buffet and snatch what we can before we run, I need to get drunk!"
"Now theres a fine idea!" The knight says getting to his feet, "care to join me for a drink?"

"Perhaps Affendi, although there is a lady I beleive I have promised a dance to first." Khalil responds sending a wave and a cheeky wink in Spite's direction.
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Post by Isabella »

Rock wrote:The next moment, the Mordentishwoman shakes herself, rises and raises her voice, hands cupped around her mouth: "Alright, you're married already! Toss the bouquet, and let's raid the buffet and snatch what we can before we run, I need to get drunk!"
Harris snuck another kiss from his new bride before turning to explain the strange Corelander traditions to Kuzan. "It's an old superstition that whichever woman catches the bride's bouquet will be the next to get married," he said. "And then we toss the bride's garter out to all the single men. Whoever catches it has to-"

Menetnashte favored Lia with a sweet smile, then tossed the bouquet skyward. It flew through the air with magical accuracy, trailing golden sparks, straight towards the masked wizard. The bundled flowers dodged past a few spectators on its path before smacking Lia gently between the eyes, getting caught on her cloak collar as it fell towards the ground.

"-um." Harris looked down at Menetnashte, who beamed back up at him. "Normally has to put the garter on whomever caught the bouquet," he finished, very quietly. "But in this case maybe we'll just let them have the first dance?"

The guard captain flushed slightly as he took the garter from Menetnashte's leg, holding it up for everyone to see. There was a sudden rush of movement from the single men as they ducked behind benches, doors, and the podium - in a moment half the wedding guests had effectively vanished.

Harris folded his arms as he surveyed the scene with some slight bemusement, and then, shrugging, chucked the garter towards the center of the chapel, figuring fate would sort itself out.
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Post by DocBeard »

"Where is everyone going?" Tomas, who had been getting a traditionally large Lamordian mug of beer(it's about as big as his head.) asks, scratching his head and taking a swig as the mass exodus of men clears the room.

He is then smacked in the face with a garter.

Eisenwald blinks, looks up at Edmund, and says, "Harris, this was totally an accident." as he thinks, quite accurately, that Edmund would remove his head from his shoulders if he tried flirting with, let alone grabbing the underwear of, his new bride.
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Post by Nathan of the FoS »

Charles and Sarari have been sitting in a corner pew, holding hands.

"It's all very pleasant," Charles says, "and traditional"--here he finds himself obligated to knife an illithid, who slides to the floor in a crackle of disgruntled thoughts, "but, really, I think our ceremony was nicer, don't you? None of this hurly-burly. Honestly, I don't know how some of these people..."

Looking at the wyvern, he continues, "These...individuals got their invitations. Although the bride did run in some interesting circles...I hope she'll adapt well to family life...certainly never seemed very domestic to me, but Harris is just the man for her. He'd better be, anyway, one would hate to think of a thousand-year-old prophetic curse fixing on the wrong man. Certainly a beaming bride though, isn't she? Much nicer to see with a smile on her face."

Charles watches the respective flights of the bouquet and garter with approval; not being a bachelor he's not eligible for these sports anymore. "Good show, old man, now don't be shy!" he calls to Tomas, smiling slightly behind his mustache.
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Post by The Whistler »

"Splendid!"

Otto rubs his hands together with anticipation from a niche next the the buffet table. If the polite but relentless sales pitches for wedding-themed firearm products (All Shotguns 50% Off! Limited Time Offer! Financing Available for Qualified Buyers!) had failed to win his firm any new customers during the past several hours, he'd been saving his contingency plan for last--and the start of the first dance was the perfect time for a proper Unveiling.

"Ladies and gentlemen!" The gunsmith tapped a spoon on the edge of his wine glass. "If you would please be directing your attention to the northwest corner of the room!"

Pause.

"...The one with the towering, periodically smoke-belching monstrosity which has been covered neatly with a decorative tarp."

"...No ma'am, the other one. With the doily upon it." Otto sidled away from the phlostigon-driven industrial lathe that he'd constructed out of cutlery and tie clips, earlier in the reception--best not to confuse the guests, after all.

Otto cleared his throat discreetly. "In honor of the bride and the groom--and as fitting accompaniment for their first dance--no small wedding gift shall do. For this reason, it is why I present..."

The tarp was yanked away with the showmanship of a man showing his audience exactly what was behind Door Number Two.

"THE SCHULTHEISS FIREARMS-BRAND CLOCKWORK AUTOSYMPHONIUM! (TM)"

...

The Schultheiss Firearms-Brand Clockwork Autosymphonium (TM) proved rather difficult to take in all at once. Not least because the tarp was the only thing keeping all the steam in.

The gunsmith had somehow acquired a chalkboard pointer. "As you can see: the superstructure here is of sturdy worked steel, the extensive array of springs and vacuumed-tubes within this quadrant provide a series of binaried gated-ways for the continued processing of musical information, with the fifteen-foot lightning rod here acting as metronome."

The "metronome" happened to be sparking rather actively at the moment; as the wedding had taken place indoors, this was cause for some concern.

"Thankfully, the proprietors were kind enough to rent out the basement for the storage of the heating-pipes, but you can witness the conveniently-placed coal-scuttle in this area, and the steam-output valves here, here, here, and--" (the gunsmith ran around to the ladder on the other end) "--Here. It should be noted that these last should only be necessary if the imprisoned fire-elemental here should become cross--better safety than sorriness, however!"

"And..." (the gunsmith hustled along the catwalk, sliding down the fireman's pole at the end and gesturing magnanimously at a tiny Victrola speaker) "Here is where the music is produced!"

From the depths of the speaking horn came a tiny, strangled voice, like the whispers of a suicidal pocket watch. "Hheeeeelllpp mmmeeeee..."

The gunsmith frowned. "...We are still in beta testing."
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