Nathan of the FoS wrote:SECOND WATCH (roughly 10 PM)
Renhalt considers for a moment, then says, "No, I think I won't need your help tonight. I'm going to see how much I can find out about how the Thott feel about the governor--and how he feels about them. Keep in mind that we're guests here. Nothing too elaborate. Or deadly."
Vasili nods. "Nothing worse than water, was the plan. So if you get too groggy and forget yourself, you'll get a brisk soaking, you've been warned!"
On the way out, Vasili stopped to refill several waterskins. Only after winding his way up to his rooms and getting inside the door does he let out a long shuddering breath, his whole body spasming toward the end. What was he going to do? He had tried to put Lena out of his mind, but he couldn't help replaying their conversation from earlier. How did he let this happen? Now everything was upside-down. Right before he left the baths, he thought he heard her laughter from somewhere on the women's side--she seemed to have moved on. Of course she was comfortable, he berated himself. Being naked in front of strangers was nothing compared to what he had put her through less than an hour before. He could still feel the revulsion--
<If you're going to recriminate yourself, do it while you work. It saves time.> Leila interrupted.
Sullenly, Vasili lifted himself to his feet and set about rigging the water traps. He really needed to be more careful which of his thoughts he left open to her perusal. <You really don't think I did anything to be ashamed of, do you?>
<I told you before: you care too much. You're just making it more painful for the both of you.>
<Then why am I the only one in pain? She's the one who was-->
<All the more reason to move on,> Leila interrupted again. <It was unpleasant but necessary. She knows that, and so do you. You made it more unpleasant than it had to be, by telling her what you were doing. But that doesn't make it any less necessary.>
<I thought it would make it simpler, like with Cattia. But it was totally different. She felt li-->
<Cattia's a tactician--when she felt exposed, she considered killing you. Lena, on the other hand, trusted you in a way that Cattia would never do. That's the problem. Next time, don't tell her.>
<Next time?!> Vasili gave a strangled gasp, and tears actually started to form.
<I expect so, dear boy. It may be a long time coming, but it's part of your job now.>
<I can't accept that. I need to think. I need to sleep-->
<You can't be serious! This, of all nights, when everyone else will be awake, you're going to sleep?>
<Just for a few hours! I'll be well rested and have my spells again when they're all witless. That was part of the plan, right?>
<I suppose so, but-->
<Well, if you don't want me to sleep, at least stop interrupting me. I have a right to my thoughts. That's really what all this was about, right?>
Defeated, Leila retreated out of his thoughts, trying to make herself as comfortable with the silence as she could. It had been many years since Vasili had guarded his thoughts from her. If this is what Lena's arrival foretold, then perhaps Leila's thoughts were due for a darker turn....