Café de Nuit

gonzoron wrote:Well, it's "horrific" but it's not "horror."

If you include those, the last movie I saw that truly "horrified" me was "Sweet Home Alabama".

I could list hundreds of movies, but the top of them would be remakes of Asian horrors (Ring, Dark Water, Ju-on, The Eye, etc) and the Rob Zombie movies (they're all terrible, let's face it). If a bad horror has cheese (Zombie Honeymoon, Plan 9, etc) then they are at least watching for a laugh. But many are just boring.

Wiccy of the Fraternity wrote:I could list hundreds of movies, but the top of them would be remakes of Asian horrors (Ring, Dark Water, Ju-on, The Eye, etc)

QFT! I have yet to see an Asian horror movie that's been "Americanized" and remains any good. Save yourself some time and don't bother with any American adaptations; the originals are always better.

I'd agree with most of Rob Zombie's movies, except Halloween was okay. It was certainly better than House of 1000 Corpses or anything else he's done.

Night of the living dead, the remake of 1960s or something.

Man, we laughed so much in this movie. I don't understand why they didn't just go out with clubs to kill all the zombies.

Steve Miller wrote:I'm going to be lazy and just post this link.

Honorable mention:

alhoon wrote:Night of the living dead, the remake of 1960s or something.

Man, we laughed so much in this movie. I don't understand why they didn't just go out with clubs to kill all the zombies.

On that I have to disagree. I enjoyed the remake, and the argument could also pertain to the original: why didn't they take clubs and kill the zombies? They'd be swarmed if they tried to club the zombies one by one. Plus it's very hard and very tiring for most people to hit a target as small as the head.

The 2002 remake of Dawn of the Dead gets a mention, if only because it's not a true Romero movie.

Well if we want to get old and timeless horror, How about 'Highlander 2, The Quickening'?

I've worked long and hard for the past 15 years, now, to suppress every single memory I have of that turgid piece of garbage.

Can't say I've seen a whole lot of terrible horror movies, but I was pretty horrified by how terrible Batman Forever and Batman & Robin were. I damn near slit my own wrists while watching Batman Forever.

I enjoyed both the Night of the LIving dead and Dawn of the Dead remakes. The Night remake wasn't by Romero either, remember that, lol.

However, Oasis if the Dead, Hard Rock Zombie, Day of the Dead 2, Return of the Living Dead 4 and 5, Hellraisers 5 - 7, Friday 13th 5 onwards, A Nightmare on Elm Street 2, Basketcase, The Howling 2 onwards, An American Werewolf in Paris, Gothic, Blackula, Project Vampire, Pumpkinhead 2, Curse of the Wendigo and others are diabolical.

Well, just about all of the Sci-Fi Channel's "movie of the week" productions are complete and utter garbage. It makes you sick to know that some of D&D's greatest monsters (well, myth's greatest, I guess) are reduced to films such as "Manticore", "Basilisk", or even more to the point "Dungeons and Dragons: Wrath of the Dragon God" (which was actually better than the first, in my opinion).

Manos: The Hands of Fate.

Worst. Movie. Ever. Nothing redeemable about it. Except for the MST3K version...

Wiccy of the Fraternity wrote:The Night remake wasn't by Romero either, remember that, lol.

True, but I meant Dawn 2002 broke some of the most basic Romero-esque rules of zombiedom: zombies do not run, they eat anything warm-blooded, and anyone who dies for any reason other than brain injury returns from the dead. All three rules were violated in the '02 remake. It's a zombie movie, but it's not a "Romero zombie" movie. At least the Night remake stayed true to the zombie mythos George established in the original three movies.

High Priest Mikhal wrote:

Wiccy of the Fraternity wrote:The Night remake wasn't by Romero either, remember that, lol.

True, but I meant Dawn 2002 broke some of the most basic Romero-esque rules of zombiedom: zombies do not run, they eat anything warm-blooded, and anyone who dies for any reason other than brain injury returns from the dead. All three rules were violated in the '02 remake. It's a zombie movie, but it's not a "Romero zombie" movie. At least the Night remake stayed true to the zombie mythos George established in the original three movies.

To be picky, the remake was 2004, lol. But that's just me being a geek, lol!

True, it broke many of Romero's rules, but there have been running zombies before. Return if the Living Dead for instance, and I vaguely remember 2 zombie movies from the early 1960's that have zombies that ran about. City of the Dead also not only has running zombies, but also zombies able to leap and jump about alot (also see the new (and awful) Day of the Dead for more of this sort of thing). Remakes need not be the same as the original. The remake of Psycho was identical to the original (besides the cast and it being in colour) and I found it immensely dull. I prefer to see a little artistic licencing to make it fresh and new to watch.

And if people think Day of the Dead was silly for having zombies drive cars, go watch Return of the Living Dead 2 again heheheh.

I thought Day of the dead (2008) was more liek Picnic of the Dead though...

Despite all of this, there's no law that says that all zombie movies must follow Romero's rules, if there was they'd all be the same and boring to say the least.

I also recommend watching Rec. it's a great movie, it has running zombies though so consider yourself forewarned, heheh

Are oyu a fan of The Walking Dead at all? if you don't alreaddy read it then I recommend you do, you'll love it, very Romero

'02, '04, I can't even keep my week straight let alone my years.

Running zombies are fine for non-Romero movies. Driving zombies, talking zombies, zombies that have to be cremated/electrocuted to be killed, those are all fine for other movies. But Romero zombies will always be the ones I love most. Unless you count those dwarf zombie things in the Phantasm series.

I've never read the Walking Dead module. I assume it's on Paizo?

I must object to this treatment of the first Phibes movie as I find it was devilishly good, campy fun. The faux art deco sets, Phibes' odd sense of decorum and the over the top murders are what made this movie such a beloved classic in the eyes of horror movie fans (although one might want to make at least a passing mention of how the lovely and silent Vulnavia exuded a certain quiet charm).

Theatre of Blood merely upped the ante by dragging Shakespeare into this sordid affair and giving Price more lines.

This said, as far as bad is concerned, you guys have yet to truly experience the bottom of the barrel crap these eyes have witnessed. Problem is, I tend to have a soft spot for crap.

Invasion of the Blood Farmers: An evil, limping farmer with flour in his hair is out to hit people with his walking stick and draw red paint from their foreheads to reawaken his slumbering evil Queen (no not his over dramatic leader, but an actual female Queen). What little sense this film makes is possibly the work of extra-terrestrial life forms. Greatest quote of the movie comes from the scenery chewing scientist who yells out "Come quick! You won't belieeeeeeeeeeeeeve what's happened!"

Dr.Black & Mister Hyde: When this brother gets angry, he turns white! The groovy trailer alone is worth the price of admission and frankly better than the movie itself!

Bloody Pit of Horror: Janes Mansfield's bodybuilder boyfriend gets his chance to shine as the reincarnated soul of a long dead executioner (if ever a movie screamed for a Piledriver song, it's this one). He also finds ample time to flex his muscles and oil up for our viewing pleasure. Love the giant plush spider with menacing eyes. "The torture of icy water was created for creatures like you!" he bellows as a small trickle of lukewarm water falls on the back of a helpless victim.

Manos: the Hand of Fate: Jeebus... This is a MST3K's favourite. Some evil guru/cult leader with a killer 'stache and his goat-legged henchman Torgo try and take advantage of an all-american family stranded in the middle of nowhere. Barely amateur-level cinematography and non-existent mood along with dreadful acting.

Stanley: Awesome trailer that leaves the viewer wondering what type of movie this is. An animal buddy comedy? A sinister revenge flick? A disturbed young Seminole Indian man obsessed with snakes has to deal with the ruthless men who killed his father. He enlists the aid of his pet rattlesnake Stanley and his pals in order to kill all those who stand in his way.

Sssssss: Oh poor Scatman Crothers... In keeping with the snake motif, Crothers is a strange snake obsessed scientist in search of funding for his zany experiments. He finds a willing student and pupil whom he injects with some snake serum - you do the math. Crothers tries his best but even he can't save this mess.

I Eat Your Skin: Dumb as rocks tropical island zombie flick notorious for the oatmeal-based makeup. It's like a poor man's White Zombie meets Fulci's Zombi 2 minus the gore.

Long Island Cannibal Massacre: I love Nathan Schiff in all his DIY New Yawker greatness. You can't help but feel that the guy had some neat ideas on how to actually shoot the movie and he certainly did his best with a limited budget. Still, Ed Wood worthy mistakes such as the changing of the seasons during the shooting make this one a hilarious treat. Loads of senseless dialogue by actors who can't be bothered to drop their New Yawker accent. Cheap gore effects and the infamous "peanut butter man" (a guy with crunchy peanut butter smeared all over his face in lieu of actual makeup) will have you rolling on the floor.

Kabrastan: Yes, now we enter Bollywood... Mohan Bahkri certainly didn't endear himself to contemporary critics. Many of them claim that he may have killed the Indian horror genre by producing one cheap stinker after another in rapid succession. Kabrastan is as convoluted as any of his other features and probably best known for the Jagdeep (*groan*) musical number in the cemetery that's been floating around YouTube. I guess Bahkri thought that Hitler would be a funny name for the moronic character portrayed by Jagdeep. Jilted husband tries to take revenge but is accidentally killed by the secret lover and he and the adulterous wife bury him in the local cemetery - you can tell what happens next. Seems fine but then the usual Bahkri stupidity ensues and we all groan.

Malabimba: You have to give credit to the Italian filmmakers of the 70's and 80's who felt that no successful major American horror flick should go without a sleazy rip off. This would be your standard sleazy Exorcist rip-off with tacked-on pornographic content. The little girl does things that would make Linda Blair blush.

Burial Ground: Speaking of sleazy Euro-trash... This one features a midget in the role of a teenage boy due to a couple of truly trashy scenes. Otherwise, a by the numbers zombies in the garden flick.

Zombie Lake: Often labelled a pornocrat, French director Jean Rollin took a break from his moody softcore horror work (and oggling Brigitte Lahaie) to direct a more tongue in cheek zombie movie. Well, the tongue in cheek part might just be wishful thinking. Long forgotten Nazi zombies rise up from a small pond to take over a local community and scare the living daylights out of a skinny dipping all female volleyball team (!!!). They didn't even bother painting the zombies' arms beyond their wrists, so any accidentally exposed skin is strikingly pink when compared to the greenish zombie flesh. Keep an eye out for zombie on zombie violence near the end.

I got more of this where it came from... Japanese phallus monsters, revenge flicks gone awry, contemporary productions that are slick but full of holes...

In the immortal words of Jake "The Snake" Roberts: "You wanna play 21? I got 22! You wanna play Blackjack? I got two of those too!"

High Priest Mikhal wrote:'02, '04, I can't even keep my week straight let alone my years.

Running zombies are fine for non-Romero movies. Driving zombies, talking zombies, zombies that have to be cremated/electrocuted to be killed, those are all fine for other movies. But Romero zombies will always be the ones I love most. Unless you count those dwarf zombie things in the Phantasm series.

I've never read the Walking Dead module. I assume it's on Paizo?

I meant The Walking Dead comic book, trust me, you should enjoy it greatly Sorry for the confusion (I forgot about that darned module for a while then, heh).