Café de Nuit

Granted! You got plenty of writing done over spring break, but it was all on topics you weren't really trying to write about. (For instance the history of cheesemaking.)

I wish I had a new TV.

Granted, but it only has one channel: The Brittney Spears 24/7 Channel!

I wish the bus schedule wasn't so screwed up.

Granted. Buses cease to exist.

I wish Firefly was still being made...

Granted. Oh, by the way, meet the new Director, Paris Hilton.

I wish I could Time Shift.

Granted. You can shift yourself in time, albeit not in space. Sadly, as too many sci-fi stories neglect to mention, by the time you arrive at a new point in time, the planet has already moved to another location (due to orbit, galactic rotation, and the overall expansion of the universe). Thus, the first time you try it you die in the vaccuum of space.

I wish I could find a magazine that would buy this article on the history of cheesemaking (the one Scipio stuck me with having written).

Granted. You find a magazine that buys your such interesting article, but after pubblishing it, no one gets the magazine more in serious and it's forced to close. The angry editor find and force you to pay the salary of the employers yourself for ever!

I wish to be in Greece tomorrow, to the present, neither future nor past.

Granted! You're there, but you're in a restricted area on government property and are arrested.

I wish I could find an enjoyable, well-paying job that would let me start at noon.

Granted! You find the job of your innermost dreams... You get paid a handsome 6-figure salary a year, and the work involved is both exciting and enjoyable. Best of all, the boss allows his/her employees to work flexible hours (coming and going as each employee sees fit). Unfortunately, despite finding this job, your are not (nor will you ever be) qualified to work it...


'I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread, with lettuce and mustard, and, AND I don't want any zombie turkeys, I don't want to turn into a turkey myself, and I don't want any other weird surprises...'

Granted. But the turkey is blander than usual and the bread is stale. (hey those aren't weird surprises theyre normal.

I wish I could get some sleep.

Wish granted. {reaches for lead pipe to knock Scipio over the head}

I wish I'd gotten more sleep last night. (And no, saying that I overslept and was late for work is too easy, guys. )

Granted. You have had the best sleep of your life and you manage to wake up when you want, but you are so deconcentrated rememebering how well you have slept that you make a total mess to your work and your boss fires you.

I wish I have an icecream.

Granted. Unfortunately, it's cyanide-flavored....

I wish the dry-erase pens in my classroom never ran out of ink.

Granted, your classroom overflows with ink and you drown.

I wish tube socks and tube tops had more in common.

Granted now all the tubes contain socks!

I wish I get a digital camera so I can finally get a photo of myself and post it here!

Granted. The camera is cursed to create horrific versions of whatever you take a picture of.

I wish my computer had 1 GB of RAM and a better video card.