Café de Nuit

"And by that we mean, he fed the boy to the alligator-men, and used his still beating heart to summon a ghostly captain for his legion of undead soldiers. Now, those fools in town will rue the day they laughed at him, as his army of the dead marches through the streets, an unholy fist dedicated to his will!"

Mental note: Find excuse to use alligator-men.

why ya gotta spoil it for everyone doc?

I'm just a terrible person.

I knew the alligator-men would be involved somehow.

Hah, nice awkwardness.

I like how despite it all, the guy still looks like he's been missing a week's sleep.

That only took six months.

BTW, some people (i.e. two, but of the percentage of people who actually comment that's pretty high) have commented that the pacing feels rushed. Do you agree, and if so, can you point out where?

If you guys have criticism please please please mention it here. You have no idea how tiresome people tiptoeing around it in a misguided attempt to spare my feelings is starting to get (no, I'm not referring to any of you).

I personally have no problem with the pace; I think it's fine.

Dunno, pacing seems fine to me.

BTW, this is why you shouldn't lumber your kids with choosing their own names. They'll never be able to decide, and they'll have no-one to blame if people don't like their choice. (Picabo Street, anyone?)

On the other hand, they'll never have to deal with the embarrassment that their parents actually thought it was a good idea to name their kid "Talula does the Hula".

I like the pacing too. The action sequences go quickly, but that makes for more tension where it ought to be. Then -- just like in real life -- things slow down, to give us time to enjoy the characters' interactions.


Speaking of which, here's hoping Fred misses his ride home! He and Santine make a great pair, taking turns at being a bit gawky and unsure of themselves.

Honestly, I think the whole 'Santine picks her own name.' deal feels a little weird. We're used to calling her that, and then suddenly, 'Hey, that's not my name! But we'll use it until I pick my name.'. Maybe it'll make more sense later.

As far as pacing goes, seems okay to me. Conflict exists, conflict is developed, a plan is made, and conflict nears resolution. Fred suddenly deciding to leave felt a bit odd-I may just be forgetting that he was only there a few days being mentioned earlier-but otherwise, things seem fine.

DocBeard wrote:Honestly, I think the whole 'Santine picks her own name.' deal feels a little weird. We're used to calling her that, and then suddenly, 'Hey, that's not my name! But we'll use it until I pick my name.'. Maybe it'll make more sense later.

That's true...I mean, she's been around for years now, right? People have to call you something, and usually whatever people call you is your name, no?

I mean, if she wants to know her real name, or birth name, I can see that. But if Fr. Desmarais always calls her "Santine" ("Petite" is more obviously a nickname, at least to my ears (eyes?)), then, uh, why wouldn't that be her name? People have to talk about her/to her somehow.

Wait 'till the end of the chapter for that.

As for why Santine never picked a name before now, I suspect she was the kind of kid that changed her name every day, until the priests got fed up and told her to make up her mind, at which point she delayed making the decision as long as possible.

DocBeard wrote:"And by that we mean, he fed the boy to the alligator-men, and used his still beating heart to summon a ghostly captain for his legion of undead soldiers. Now, those fools in town will rue the day they laughed at him, as his army of the dead marches through the streets, an unholy fist dedicated to his will!"

Mental note: Find excuse to use alligator-men.

Classic D&D had gator-men. Jamie Baty [not me], over on Vaults of Pandius , has done a conversion of them to 3E:

http://pandius.com/gatorman.html