Your Wish Granted...with a Twist

Scarycount · Post by **Scarycount** » Mon Apr 02, 2007 8:05 pm

granted, Myspace shuts down entirely.

I wish I didn't have to get off this board and get to work.

Wiccy of the Fraternity · Tue Apr 03, 2007 5:58 pm

Granted, you develop a acute phobia of everything beyond the FoS forums, any attempt to leave it and you fear you'll perish, being devoured by a million giant red ants.

I wish they'd never started the smoking ban for public buildings in the UK

Spiteful Crow · Post by **Spiteful Crow** » Tue Apr 03, 2007 6:44 pm

Wiccy of the Fraternity wrote:I wish they'd never started the smoking ban for public buildings in the UK

Granted! They ban smoking in private buildings too!

(It's an eery feeling to go into a restaurant and be seated in what used to be the "Smoking Section"...)

I wish Denny's weren't full of drunks in the morning.

VAN · Post by **VAN** » Wed Apr 04, 2007 3:42 am

Granted, a new law prohibit the drunk's entrance there till afternoon. Instead of there, the now more than ever angry drunk people come to your house... at 6amadn stay there till afternoon!

I wish to know what I'm going to do this evening not the last minute as always!

Dhampire · Post by **Dhampire** » Wed Apr 04, 2007 7:01 pm

Due to a mistake of identity, you are confused with a known escaped felon. You are sent to prison where you know you will be confined to solitary with nothing but yourself and a beetle for company.

I wish I could cast real magic spells in the real world.

Spiteful Crow · Post by **Spiteful Crow** » Wed Apr 04, 2007 9:48 pm

Dhampire wrote:I wish I could cast real magic spells in the real world.

Granted! You open a portal to the Far Realm and get eaten by eldritch horrors.

I wish my stuff would quit falling over.

Scipio · Post by **Scipio** » Wed Apr 04, 2007 10:03 pm

Granted, instead it falls over one last time and you cannot seem to get it back up.

I wish I had an ice cold pepsi.

Scarycount · Post by **Scarycount** » Sat Apr 07, 2007 2:39 am

Granted, your pepsi is frozen.

I wish I had a copy of the mammoth book of true crime.

Dhampire · Post by **Dhampire** » Sat Apr 07, 2007 9:09 pm

You are indeed given a mammoth sized copy of the tome.
It requires forklifts and labor unions to open the cover and turn the pages.
The labor union is currently on strike but, with the arbiter that was hired, it should be resolved be the year 2029.

I wish I had a better internet connection that dial-up.

Spiteful Crow · Post by **Spiteful Crow** » Sat Apr 07, 2007 9:25 pm

Dhampire wrote:I wish I had a better internet connection that dial-up.

Granted! You get high speed WiFi set up in your home, but it costs $100 a month and the neighbors are always leeching off of it.

I wish the coffee house downtown would serve meat instead of tofu.

ScS of the Fraternity · Sat Apr 07, 2007 11:38 pm

[Steps out from the side, wearing a suit, holding a cigarette and completely in black and white]

Submitted for your approval, Spiteful Crow, a man with a craving. Trapped in a world obscessed with bean curd, he searchs for meal to satisfy his taste.

[SpitefulCrow:] Wow, my local coffee house has changed management, and they serve meat. Hooray.
[Manager:] Yep, we cook everything from this book. "To Serve Man".
[SpitefulCrow:] (muffled by food) Um-hun...
[Manager:] You know... "To Serve Man" Meat on the menu... You know.... (nudges and winks)
[SpitefulCrow:] (shakes head while chewing)
[Manager:] You're eating people!
[SpitefulCrow:] But its still meat, right?
[Manager:] Un huh
[SpitefulCrow:] Sweet.

Submitted for your approval, one Spiteful Crow, who found statisfaction in a little coffee house, three blocks away from the Twilight Zone.

I wish gas stations would stay open at night instead of leaving me with an empty tank in the freezing cold.

alhoon · Post by **alhoon** » Sun Apr 08, 2007 7:05 am

Granted! The gas stations stay open at night, and close at day, leaving millions stranded on the roads without gas. When they ask about it, the Gas employees direct them to you.

I wish ScS would turn into a gas station that stay open at night.

Scipio · Post by **Scipio** » Mon Apr 09, 2007 3:09 am

Granted, but the gas there is incredibley expensive (over $10 a gallon.)

I wish I didn't rupture my bicep earlier today.

Rotipher of the FoS · Mon Apr 09, 2007 11:10 am

Granted. You instead ruptured your deltoid, triceps brachii, latissimus dorsi, serratus anterior, brachialis, pronator teres....

(How often does somebody hand an anatomy professor a line like that one?

(Oh, well, guess I'll play fair and pass that opportunity along!

)

I wish lecturing about the urinary system to my students didn't always, by the power of suggestion, make me want to pee.

Spiteful Crow · Post by **Spiteful Crow** » Mon Apr 09, 2007 1:12 pm

Mmmmmm... soylent grain...

Rotipher of the FoS wrote:I wish lecturing about the urinary system to my students didn't always, by the power of suggestion, make me want to pee.

Granted! Instead, every time you lecture about the circulatory system, you somehow get a nosebleed.

I wish the theaters in town would sell Dots so I wouldn't have to sneak them in my coat.

Café de Nuit

Welcome, friends, to our establishment.

Your Wish Granted...with a Twist