Café de Nuit

Granted! You find it abandoned on the street. Unfortunately, it was abandoned because it was dropped by the burglar who killed its original owner while robbing the house, and now the police are wondering why you don't have an alibi for the night in question...

I wish irritating mortgage brokerage firms would be plagued by wandering monsters (Gah! Those people make any real estate closing ten times harder, I swear!) straight out of any good 1st Ed. game.

Sylaire wrote:Granted! You find it abandoned on the street. Unfortunately, it was abandoned because it was dropped by the burglar who killed its original owner while robbing the house, and now the police are wondering why you don't have an alibi for the night in question...

I wish irritating mortgage brokerage firms would be plagued by wandering monsters (Gah! Those people make any real estate closing ten times harder, I swear!) straight out of any good 1st Ed. game.

Granted. The monsters are Flumphs.

I wish that Paul Dini never stops writing quality Batman comics.

Granted! His Batman comics continue to be so well-written that they bring DC loads of new subscribers. Unfortunately, he gets a big head about it and demands massive raises that DC Comics cannot afford, so they let him go. He continues to write spectacular Batman comics for the rest of his life, but can no longer publish them.

I wish there was something good on network TV at 2:00 p.m.

Granted, but you develop a headache and mix up motrin with sleeping pills and sleep right thourought it.

I wish I knew how Scar and Zazu got British accents in the middle of Africa.

Granted! In a sudden epiphany, you realize that Scar and Zazu's accents are due to the exact same thing that causes British accents to appear on Imperial officers in the Star Wars universe... a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.

I wish my local game store would decide to give me all their surplus stock for free.

Granted. You are now the proud owner of some 20 head of cattle, which have been delivered to your living room for your convenience. (A game store didn't have any use for livestock, after all.) Have fun cleaning up cowpies from the carpet.


I wish I could draw better maps, because my rough sketch of Todstein looks like an eight-year-old did it.

Rotipher of the FoS wrote:Granted. You are now the proud owner of some 20 head of cattle, which have been delivered to your living room for your convenience. (A game store didn't have any use for livestock, after all.) Have fun cleaning up cowpies from the carpet.


I wish I could draw better maps, because my rough sketch of Todstein looks like an eight-year-old did it.

Granted. It now looks like a nine year old did it.

I wish that everyone who posts on these boards has rich, fulfilling lives.

Drinnik Shoehorn wrote:Granted. It now looks like a nine year old did it.

Hey, I'll take it!

I wish that everyone who posts on these boards has rich, fulfilling lives.

Granted. The down side is that the people who keep posting ads for porn-sites also have rich, fulfilling lives, allowing them to invest in harder-to-block bots and thus bury the forums in spam.

I wish I had a high-speed Internet connection at home, at an affordable rate and with excellent spam-blocking and security.

Rotipher of the FoS wrote:I wish I had a high-speed Internet connection at home, at an affordable rate and with excellent spam-blocking and security.

Granted, now you have internet with so high speed that you barely have time to press the buttons and immediately it appears what you have asked. The problem is that occurs very much energy to do so and a black out gets your block. Your angry neighbors come to you and manage to convince you... with the bad way to throw your computer!

I wish my house get magically cleaned.

Granted, your house is cleaned magically. Unfortunately the spell works too well, and gets rid of not only the clutter, but also all of your stuff. You now have an empty, but completely clean, house.

I wish I had a pet duck-billed platypus.

Granted! Did you know that male platypi have poisonous spurs? Your platypus develops the habit of snuggling you in bed, causing your once restful nights to be filled with muscle-wracking agony.

I wish that this wish won't be twisted.

Isabella wrote:Granted! Did you know that male platypi have poisonous spurs? Your platypus develops the habit of snuggling you in bed, causing your once restful nights to be filled with muscle-wracking agony.

I wish that this wish won't be twisted.

Granted! Your next wish is guaranteed to be more twisted than usual to make up for it.

I wish my nose would stop bleeding.

Isabella wrote:Granted! Did you know that male platypi have poisonous spurs? Your platypus develops the habit of snuggling you in bed, causing your once restful nights to be filled with muscle-wracking agony.

Heck, I'll take it. Knowing me I'll build up a resistance pretty quick.

Now for Spiteful Crow's wish.

Granted, your nose stops bleeding because you've bled out, and can't possibly bleed anymore.

I wish I had new strings for my mandolin.

Granted! But the new strings are defective, and break immediately the first time you try to play.

I wish my Friday night gaming group didn't want to convert to the new edition of Star Wars RPG.

Granted, instead they opt to never play the Star Wars RPG ever again. Instead they switch over to My Little Pony D20

I wish I had a more stable wireless connection on this computer.