Café de Nuit

Granted! Boy you have never seen such transfection! However your evil work does not go unnoticed and the Mouse Dark powers give you your own domain in the very small demiplane of dread Mouseloft where you are terrorised by super intelligent mice for the rest of eternity.

I wish the clock wont ever get to 9:00 so I dont have to start work....

Granted! It skips right to 10:15. You are now LATE for work.

For all eternity.

I wish I could teleport without error at will.

Granted: You can now teleport without error, a v3.0 spell. Unfortunately, all your friends exist in the slightly-similar-but-not-quite-contiguous v3.5 Universe, and they merely use Greater Teleport instead. Enjoy your existence in a universe cruelly abandoned by Wizards (even though they insist 3.0 is still viable in the crossover text) and the dwindling amount of players still in it.

Wish: I wish I could find that coupon giving me a nice discount on my next pub dinner.

Granted, but it's expired. And you get a papercut...

I wish I had cable tv.

Granted, just in time for the three-month-long blackout.

I wish my job wasn't so stressful.

Granted, you end up getting fired. No job = no job related stress....

I wish my blood sugar levels would stabilize at a normal level so I wouldn't keep having hypoglycemic episodes.

Granted! Now you have hallucinogenic episodes as a side effect from the medicine stabilizing your blood sugar levels!

I wish it was Friday.

Granted, it was Friday, now it's Wednesday.

I wish I didn't have to go into work tomorrow.

I wish I didn't have to go into work tomorrow.

Granted, only you wake up to find your house has been vandalized, your car hit by a freak tornado, you are attacked by wild dogs on the way to the bus, then gang bangers while actually on the bus, you lose your wallet, you're shoes, your coat and are very nearly arrested for vagrancy ... only after all that do you make it to work in order to find out that someone forgot to tell you the schedule had been changed - you didn't have to go in.


I wish all my medical problems would vanish, not to be replaced by others.

Granted: Your medical problems vanish, thanks to horrendously expensive treatment that your insurance doesn't cover. You now have certain financial problems instead.

I wish I didn't have to eat, drink, or sleep and could just focus my time on DnD.

wish I didn't have to eat, drink, or sleep and could just focus my time on DnD.

Granted, you have been transformed into a d12! Congratulations! Unfortunately, as the single least used dice in all of Dungeons and Dragons you are relegated to spending most of your time in the box, watching from the sidelines. Once, every twenty sessions or so, you are pulled out to make some obscure roll, then quickly dismissed back to your prison, where you are mocked by all the other, more useful dice.

I wish I had strong self confidence.

Granted! You become so confident that you start to believe you can do absolutely anything, and so you get the bright idea to try and rob Fort Knox... where you are shot on sight.

I wish all electronic devices worked exactly like they're supposed to, and the battery-powered ones all had batteries that never needed replacing or recharging.

Granted! Welcome to the Matrix, Neo. You're the only one left.

I wish I understood this Harry Potter nonsense, which is getting old for me.

I wish I understood this Harry Potter nonsense, which is getting old for me.

Granted, in fact all you understand is nonsense - any sensical thing, facts, numbers, science, etc. becomes completely unfathomable to you, but nonsense becomes a way of life.


I wish people would randomly break out into song and dance in the real world - turning the reality we live in into one fantastic, never ending musical.

Granted, unfortunately it's just like in hte musical episode of Buffy, and people start to spontaneously combust from all hte emotion. This includes you.

I wish Tulsa was easier on my allergies.