Café de Nuit

Rotipher of the FoS wrote:Granted. You did say "You're fired!" instead. However, your wish fizzles out because I've got tenure and am virtually impossible to fire, thus causing you still greater regret for having botched a wish-twisting in public.


I wish TV commercials weren't so bloody stupid and annoying.

Granted! Parents Against Bloodshed, LUst and Mayhem (PABLUM) have successfully campaigned to make bloody TV commercials illegal.

I wish I enjoyed reading research articles as much as I do D&D supplements.

Granted! You now find D&D supplements as dry and boring as research articles, and are now forced to find a new hobby as well as looking back at all the time and money you spent on D&D over the years with bitter regrets.

I wish that when we pick up the Halloween decorations this year, Lynne and I don't leave some sitting until next year.

Granted. Instead of some, you leave all of them. And this year Lynne decided actual zombies with freakin' laser beams would be a good idea.

No...The zombies don't kill you, they just have laser beams. Have fun raving .

(P.S: You guys are still playing this? What have I done?)

I wish for the same wish as the 101st wish in the original "Your wish granted, with a twist" thread.

Undead Cabbage wrote:Granted. Instead of some, you leave all of them. And this year Lynne decided actual zombies with freakin' laser beams would be a good idea.

No...The zombies don't kill you, they just have laser beams. Have fun raving .

(P.S: You guys are still playing this? What have I done?)

I wish for the same wish as the 101st wish in the original "Your wish granted, with a twist" thread.

Granted. You receive the same twisted wish as in the prior instance. And since the Dark Powers are not amused you also receive 101 dalmations in need of puppy training. Further, the Dark Powers explicitly warn you that if you pull this stunt again in the absence of a hyperlink your every wish, so long as you live and well beyond, will be twisted.

I wish Vecna sent Azalin a taunting postcard from outside of Ravenloft rubbing in the fact that the Whispered One successfully managed to escape on his first serious attempt, whereas Azalin has been failing to do so for centuries.

Granted! Vecna does indeed send a postcard to Azalin conveying his contempt for the amateur lichness of the lord of Darkon. Unfortunalty he happens to be at a generic British beach resort when he does it, and the postcard consists of a pair of breasts covered with the legend "Kiss me quick, squeeze me slowly", which causes Vecna to generally beaten by the other deities for being so tacky (although Gordon Brown supports him for buoying up the British tourist industry).....

I wish I didnt have to drive 5 hours to a meeting with pointless halfwits tommorrow....

lostboy wrote:I wish I didnt have to drive 5 hours to a meeting with pointless halfwits tommorrow....

Granted. Your meeting will be with quarterwits instead.

I wish Brittney Spears joined an order of nuns in Zaire, took a vow of silence, and fell off the radar map permanently.

Granted! The media spends the next six months talking endlessly about Kevin Federline's reaction to Britney's sudden change of lifestyle.

I wish the Star Wars game I was supposed to go to last night hadn't been cancelled.

Granted. It wasn't cancelled, you just missed it. And the GM arranged for your PC to die a horrible death as a result



I wish I'd found a cheaper gas station at which to fill up my car this morning.

Granted! It's in Dubai.

I wish 2.2 and 9.1 had the same feelings for me as 3+.0.1.1 seemed to have, stat.

Granted! They do. However all your friends notice you have a habbit to speak in such riduculous riddles and stop talking to you.

I wish I had the value of half the GDP of all the UN nations in an accesible only by me bank account that I could use whenever I wanted without legal problems.

Granted, but it's all in a new currency that no nation on earth will actually accept as payment for anything. (It's not a legal thing, just practicality issues)

I wish it weren't so cold here.

Granted the local ambient temperature rises to about, oh say... the surface of the sun. You may find things get a little sticky for you.....

I wish someone would invent a work robot that can do all my work for me, leaving me the day free to read all those RL books I have under my desk.

lostboy wrote:I wish someone would invent a work robot that can do all my work for me, leaving me the day free to read all those RL books I have under my desk.

Granted. With remarkablely little effort you manage to create a golem that is able to do all your work, freeing you to read RL books. Unfortunately, it is a golem of obsession, is jealous of your attention, and rips your RL collection to shreds.

I wish that he who lives by the humvee dies by the humvee.

Granted, but he takes you with him in his grave... alive.

I wish everyone would like to eat boiled pizza, 12 days old.

Granted!

(No twist. Bear in mind that the Dark Powers often will grant an evil wish straight up, because it's already perverted by the maker. And boiled pizza.... YUCK!)

I wish I was innocent again, back in the days when muscles were taut, bellies were smooth, eyes were doelike, hairlines were full and rich, and every inch of the frame stretched, Adonis-like, flexibly as a tender young bud of manhood.