Café de Nuit

Granted, no people are born between June 22 and July 22 ever again, in the zodiac sign of Cancer, the crab.

I wish that Eberron would be dropped from WotC's product line and that Ravenloft would re-appear with at least one quality product released each year.

Granted. Eberron disappears, and all the Eberron writers are shifted over to work on the new Ravenloft ReVamped line, which manages to produce one, or occasionally even two, quality products per year, in between the 37 crappy products released per year, which completely destroy the campaign setting's reputation to the point where people will react to "Want to join my Ravenloft game?" with "Eeeewwww. No." Naturally, after only a couple of years, the setting has driven away all of its old fans and you can't even find anyone to talk with about it, let alone play it with.

I wish for fish!

Best wish ever!

Granted. Fish rain down from the skies, filling our streets with horrible flopping horror. Soon they shall conquor the surface world and convert it into a gigantic wading pool. Those humans not killed in the innital conquest are forced to labor endlessly making powdered brine shrimp and dumping it over the oceans.
Our only hope comes from the penguins who, even as we speak, are on the march.

I wish our new penguin overlords the best of luck.

Granted! The new pinguin Overlords have the best of luck! They are so lucky that even with bad plans and untrained, overwhelmed soldiers they manage to narrowy lose the war... still they lose. Best of luck wasn't enough.

I wish the fish would turn over the world's rulership to me.

Granted! You now rule over a world populated exclusively by fish. They come to you with all their problems, none of which you understand because you don't speak whatever language they may possess. An angry population rises up in revolt and dethrones you, then fills your body full of worms and rusty hooks as punishment.

I wish WotC would put out quality RL minis instead of Keebler Strahd and the Rudolf van Paladin.

Granted, now WOTC puts out high quality minis for their new campaign setting, happy go lucky halflings in heat.

I wish I my kids would pick up after themselves a little more often.

Granted, the house burns down and they agree to help clean it up.

I wish Hollywood wasn't remaking The Birds.

Granted.
Bam!
Instead, Hollywood is remaking Psycho, again. This time it stars Howey Mandel and Paris Hilton.

I wish Winter would just stop and we could have some warm weather for a change.

Granted! We experience record highs for March, at 115 degrees Fahrenheit!

I wish the new ECW was more like the original.

JinnTolser wrote:Granted! We experience record highs for March, at 115 degrees Fahrenheit!

I wish the new ECW was more like the original.

Granted! and just like the original, only 12 teenage boys know about it let alone care about it.

I wish the snow would let up here so I could get some beer!

BigBadQDaddy wrote:

JinnTolser wrote:Granted! We experience record highs for March, at 115 degrees Fahrenheit!

I wish the new ECW was more like the original.

Granted! and just like the original, only 12 teenage boys know about it let alone care about it.

I wish the snow would let up here so I could get some beer!

Granted!
To go along with the record highs, freak climate change (brought on by global warming, God's wrath, or a stock market crash) occurs turning the land into an arid desert wasteland. Liquid refreshment of any kind becomes such a rarity that you have to spend your entire life savings to afford a six back of beer. But it was enjoyable, at least.

I wish I could make a major contribution to the betterment of humanity.

Granted, but unfortunately the earth is hit by a giant meteor and humanity dies just after it finally reaches a time of peace and love.

I wish I could speak Spanish.

Granted! But your accent is so strange that no Spanish-speakers can talk to you without bursting out laughing.

I wish reality shows would go away.

Granted. Now television only shows soap operas. Soap operas about horny 40-year old house wives at that!

I wish my body would never run out of epinephrine.

Granted. Your suprarenal excrete epinephrine till...their explosion!

I wish a certain friend of mine be more intelligent some times.

And don't just swich our brains, I wait more from you...