Café de Nuit

I've been working on some graphic art, wallpapers, and t-shirt designs that are Ravenloft related. Now before you guys start waving your arms and howling about copyrights and trademarks, settle down, I'm not creating merchandise for sale. I was thinking of making some t-shirts for me and a few friends, and I figured a few Ravenloft-themed ones would be cool.

So, what I'm curious about is if any of you have any good ideas for slogans to put on the shirts. I know one of you has a quote that made me laugh and would totally work "Jesus Saves, everyone else takes full damage!"

Any other suggestions?

"This shirt is made from 100% Wizards of the coast brand Tarasque skin. Because in real life there are no saving throws."


From the dead ale wives skit-

"Im the dungeon master! I controll worlds, universes! Every potion you drink I MIXED! Every magical item you find I PUT IT THERE! And now your sitting in the hot belly of a platinum dragon you must ask yourself...where...your...priorities...lie...."


"I waste it with my crossbow!"

"Spay or nuter your Munchkin today"

"If at first you don't suceed, roll roll again (and hope the Dm dosn't see)"

"A rod of silence means you never have to say you are sorry."

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder....the rest of the party is in the stomach."

"Never summon anything bigger then your head."

-From Dork Tower

I actually wore this on a custom T-shirt to two or three GenCons back in the late 80s (FWIW, those FR clowns Ed Greenwood and Jeff Grubb loved it! ). Feel free to modify some of the lines to add some Ravenloft references, and/or if you think it's out of date:

The Top Ten Things That Prove You've Been Playing Much Too Much Dungeons & Dragons:

10. Refer to your gross, irritable, and ill-mannered boss as "Chief Orc".

9. Roll for initiative before entering fist fights.

8. Can't open a locked steamer trunk without checking it for traps first.

7. Tell your teacher a kender stole your homework.

6. You call "Phone Sex", then ask the party on line what their Charisma is.

5. Elminster borrows your car keys.

4. Visiting Vegas, you wonder why their dice have so few sides.

3. Sign on your back fence says "Beware of the Manticore".

2. You have ever in your life considered visiting Lake Geneva, Wisconsin.

1. You're all out of junk food.

So far so good, but I was hoping for some more Ravenloft-specific gags...

Famous last words of a adventurer in Falknovina- "You can take that pike and shove it right up...."

Garlic- not just for breakfast anymore

Strahd does it in a coffin
Hazlik pulls it out of a hat
Tristan does it at sunrise and sunset
Soth just mopes about it
Ivana goes blue in the mouth over it
Ivan can no longer taste it
Weathermay gets beaten every night
Von Kharkov does it like an animal
Vlad uses a long hard shaft
D'honaire gets other people to do it
Adam is a little stiff
Tristessa is a screamer
Malkin is open for a threesome
Azalin can't seem to resurect it
Jacqueline like to bite and scratch

I visited the Shadow Rift and all I got was this lousy T-shirt.

I escaped from Dr. Ilhousen's Clinic for the Mentally Distressed

Ezra is my b____!

Strahd's my homeboy.

University of Dementlieu - Department of Hieranthropology

I have lycanthropy.

"I'm an alien. I'm a legal alien,
I'm an ousider in the Mists."

You should have seen me before I got all my levels drained. I was really something then...

Dead Man's Campaign Veteran

Allergic to purple.

I can kill a peasant for 73gp.

I survived Necropolis

Elves should NEVER ride stag beetles

(A caption that says: "Use your Illusion" with a picture of Arijani on the t-shirt...)

I am a philosopher of the Divinity of Mankind and therefore, it stands to reason that I MUST be better than you.

But what about T-Shirts with the FoS logo on them? - I know it's geeky, but, hell, I am too!

Desdichado wrote:But what about T-Shirts with the FoS logo on them? - I know it's geeky, but, hell, I am too!

Ah the good old Ouroboros never fails to make an impact...

"I failed a powersave and all I got was a third nipple."

"Watch out! The Horror Check DC for taking off this shirt has 3 digits!"