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Quote Archive


Feb 20th "Strahd von Zarovich never sparkles." - Tracy Hickman
Sep 14th Five Editions of D&D. Five Books of Ezra. It can't be coincidence! The Time of Unparalled Darkness is nigh!
May 18th In the Mists, no one can hear you scream... at your players who won't stop quoting Monty Python.
Mar 31st When you wish upon an Imp...


Oct 15th What does the Raven say? Caw-caw-caw-caw-caw-caw-CAW!


Oct 15th October is Ravenloft month in Dragon Magazine #416 and Dungeon Magazine #207! Welcome back to our favorite setting!


Dec 19th The Kargatane are back in WotC's Book of Vile Darkness. No, not that Kargatane, the ones from Darkon. Time to open up a bookshop in the Shadowfell?
Jun 23rd Kalidnay returns in Dungeon #190. Kalid-Ma and Thakok-An both report being pleased to find themselves with the correct genders this time.
Apr 21st 4th Edition Ravenloft sadly pulled from Wizards' 2011 schedule for reworking. Dr. Mordenheim offers his services as a specialist in surgical reassembly, but no one returns his call.


Aug 10th Is the Time of Unparalled Darkness here already? 4th Edition Ravenloft in 2011! Get out your healing surges and recharge your powers, everyone! Our favorite setting must have made its save to end the "out-of-print" condition.
Mar 16th The Headless Horseman makes a triumphant return in Dungeon #174. Sources close the Horseman report that he has not let newfound fame go to his head, though he has been spotted wearing a toupee.


Dec 24th Dr. Mordenheim awoke to find just the stocking stuffers he was hoping for: feet! You're so thoughtful, Horg.
Oct 1st Latest News: "Playing Vistani" articles coming this week in Dragon Online. No word yet if this will finally confirm that the Hag and Halflings in Expedition to Castle Ravenloft were just "Playing Vistani."
Sep 1st Latest News: WotC announces Ravenloft boardgame for 2010. Count Strahd XI issues rare decree - Henceforth, "Wood for Sheep" jokes will be punishable by death.
Apr 1st Facing certain death, S woke unscathed, finding her clothes & gear oddly unsettling… a misplaced stitch here, a missing scuff there. While roaming La Maison Soulombre today, you may feel a similar sensation. There is no cause for alarm, only for nebulous unease.


Oct. 31st Remember to spay or neuter your Jack-o-lanterns and have a Happy Halloween!
Aug. 3rd Jacqueline and Louise Renier star in "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pest". In theaters now.
June 22nd. The Fraternity of Shadows is hosting a victim's support group for those  traumatized by 4th edition. Please bring your own tissues.
May 13th When you wish upon a star... Watch out, because its really an evil glowing genie.
April 6th Borca considers banning rotweiler-werewolf hybrids. Regular werewolves, still okay.
Mar 31st A teaser is now available for the Report on the Nocturnal Sea!
Mar 9th Tonight, between 8 and 9 pm, our site will consume more power to make up for all the power saved by Earth Hour.
Mar 16th Doctor Mordenheim unveils his bio-diesel golems to the market. There were no survivors.
Mar 4th Rest in Peace Gary Gygax May insidious traps protect his treasure horde for a thousand years.
Feb 14th Breaking news: Winged 5 year-old arrested for assault. Happy Valentines Day!
Feb 1st Do-it-yourself conversion kits to 4th edition: Drow ears and laser gun not included.


Dec 12th Rumors of my death are greatly exaggerated. I was already dead to begin with.
Sept 23rd Strange but True: Alfred Timothy wears flea collar.
Aug 31st "I keep telling you; There's no such thing as ghosts!" - Famous Last Words
Aug 22nd Strahd von Zarovich never sleeps in the same coffin twice. He also has no bathrooms. You do the math.
Aug 5th Why choose the lesser evil? Cthulhu in 2008!
July 15th To stop global warming, Strahd von Zarovich advocates destroying the sun.
Send your donations today.
June 13th "I came with a simple dream; of eating all your brains. And this is how it must end?"
- Anton Misroi
May 21st Ask not for whom the bell tolls... 'cause I forgot
May 13th Happy Mummy's Day!
May 9th Wolves, the children of the night. What sweet music they make. Stop that damn racket! Some people are trying to sleep!
April 30th "...and that's why I have no eyebrows." - Ending of a conversation you wish you never had.
April 17th Indecipherable Kargat encryption: Pw3n all noobs. Strahd is teh suck.
April 14th Its all fun and games when someone looses an eye.
April 8th Happy Easter: Merry platypus, one and all!
April 4th "Cry havoc and slip loose the doves of war!" - the original, unedited phrase
April 2nd "Oh, its just you." -Famous Last Words
March 23rd The only thing creepier than a puppet... a dead puppet.
March 16th Obey the Fist!
March 10th Beware my revenge of vengeance: The Revengening!
March 5th "Of course its safe. If it wasn't, would I do this...." - Famous Last Words
Feb 17th The Zherisian Gazetteer is out. Catch it before it escapes!
Feb 12th Not many people know that Strahd von Zarovich was the original Count Chocula.


Dec. 31st Happy New Fear!
Dec. 24th At the Xmas party, Strahd got wasted and forgot that vampires don't show up on a photocopier. Now we have blank paper and butt-prints on the glass. Nice.
Nov. 28th "...and the villagers searched all day, but they never found his head. The End." Ending of "Tobias goes to Barovia", popular children's book.
Nov. 2nd You have a good head on your shoulders. I think I'll take it.
Oct. 14th The master of Ravenloft is having guests for dinner... Did you all wash your necks like he asked?
Oct. 7th Happy Thanksgiving Canada! To prevent the turkey from rising from the grave, drive a hockey stick into the giblets.
Sep. 13th Strahd Von Zarovich announces open house. Seeks buyers with excellent taste.
Aug 27th Hope floats. Reality circles below while the Jaws theme plays.
July 21st Behold our new Google-rific design! Comments may be submitted to our secretary Dru for prompt shredding.
July 20th Maquis D'Polmero's secret shame: The painting in which his soul is trapped is in fact a velvet Elvis. Talk about bad taste.
June 20th Falkovnia unveils new Complaints Box, otherwise known as a coffin.
March 31st Victor Mordenheim is not licensed to practice medicine. His doctorate is actually in Sociology.
March 5th Strange but true: Ivana Boristi is not poisonous, but in fact suffers from really, really bad breath.
April 20th The Fraternity has cracked the Da Vinci Code! It says "Tom Hanks is a big mother f...."
April 2nd The Fraternity of Shadows made many aquisitions on April 1st. They report over 100 people "Ow3ned".
Mar 20th Rokushima Taiyoo bans Darkonian beef imports in response to beef inspector being attacked by "aged" steak.
Mar 15th This Just In: Strahd has successfully sued the estate of Van Richten for libel.
Feb 17th Fervor continues in Phariza over depictions of Diamble featuring glasses, mustaches and stink-lines.
Jan. 12th Contrary to popular belief, you can get blood from a turnip. You just have to throw it hard enough.
Jan. 11th Its a new dawn, a new day, and a new drained body to stash in the cellar.


Dec. 4th Strange but True: Azalin Rex made his fortune selling bone china
Nov. 12th Can the House of Lament get cabin fever?
Nov. 3rd Warning: The Isle of Ravens has been quarantined over fears of the Avian Flu
Oct. 27th Diplomatic immunity does not apply to the laws of physics. Except in Vechor
Oct. 14th That guy must have a sick up his butt - Falkovnian saying

Oct. 11th Warning: Thanksgiving leftovers may animate as revenant-turkeys!
Oct. 3rd Is that all you got? - Famous last words
Sept. 22nd Dr. Dominai's discount lobotomies: This week; Half off
Sept. 11th Beware the curse of the were-gazebo!
Sept. 3rd This just in: Jacqueline Renier caught testing cosmetics on mice
Aug. 22nd If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is there to hear it, who does its ghost haunt?
Aug. 2nd How far can you walk into the woods? Only halfway, before a werewolf eats you.

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