The Lesser Evil wrote:As far as general things, I like how you clearly laid out the roads where they made sense. I like how you include several communities, large and small, in the appropriately populated communities- I'd love to hear your method of coming up with names. The terrain itself is very lushly detailed and vivid.
Thanks, i always try to remember the simple fact that villages were always made at maximum one day of travel one of another. I'll also make several little communities in Sri Raji. And for the names, i use a generator of fantasy names.
https://www.fantasynamegenerators.com/
The Lesser Evil wrote:General thing to think about: where are your points of relative normalcy and stability in the cluster? Looking at the map, the human cities of Sri Raji and perhaps some regions of Nzari further removed from the colonists' influence. The existence of several communities in Hanpi, Megalhaya, and perhaps Kuttu Varizai suggest points of light there too, although as these are new domains it's hard to say. I notice that, as with the canon Verdurous Lands, most of the darklords are monstrous/non-human darklords (although a couple are former humans). You may consider adding a couple more domains with human darklords and focusing on human evils if all the new domains focus on monster/supernatural horror.
IMC i will use the same vibe than Sri Raji: for the inhabitants everything is normal. In Sri Raji, thugs were fighting weretigers all days in a secret war and a demigod was eating one of them each day. Complitly normal... The fact that darklords are monstrous or were humans before reflect, imo of course, the hindu myths. Almost all of their gods and mythics creatures aren't humans (in appareance) and their heroes undergo changes (new limbs, legs or heads) each times they complete tasks. No heroes, god or whatever is a "nomarl" human.
The hindu vampire is a monstrusosity who, compared to our nosferatu, make him pass for a deformed humain. Just look at the filipino Aswang for example, it come from a variantion of the hindu vampire, a giant mosquito. All hindu monsters, beside very few exceptions (as the rakshasa) can't take a human appreance. The big majority are monsters.
For the politic, Sri Raji will be the more stable and calm at first glance, the other darklords don't control their domain as Arijani does. Each of the head of the hydra has a favorite city (it's why their are seven in the domain) and the head who control the domain will favorise her city at the cost of the others. the weresnake of Megalbaya is leading a forbidden cult (in our real world, even thugs were hunting the snake god cultists) so she have to hide and each time she have the upper hand on something, part of the cult is found and destroyed.
In fact, i think i'll take some part of the wildlands and transfer them to the sri raji. The only problem i have with the cluster is the powerhouse arijani is. And it coe with our westerner point of view because Kali is the goddess of murder, death and, in some myths, cannibalism but also the goddess of maternity, birth, motherhood. Their is no evil god, all of them are two faced, representing something but also its opposite. So Arijani is a killer but must also be a protector. I spoke about him with a friend of hindu origin and to sum up, Arijani, as written is not a darklord at all. He's a son of a demon god but was blessed by Khali, this blessing redeem him. He can be seen as a protector, but hisprotection come with a price... To make him a darklord, Khali should be put of the storyline.
Edit: and i don't want to get ride of this part of the story, so i'll have to find a trick.
And for Kuttu Varizaï: it come from a martial art tournament created in the north of India to distract Raru, the demon god of the moon at each eclipse. Raru eat the soul of deceased during the tournament. The myth was used to create the first mortal kombat ^^.
The Lesser Evil wrote:Onto more specific suggestions: In Sri Raji, I might suggest making the Yamata Mountains reach up into a mistbound region instead of being surrounded by water. This would allow you to get a Himalayan-like land-based entry to the cluster. You could reach it from the appropriate mountainous regions in your eastern Asian-analogue cluster or the Frozen Reaches, for example.
Good idea, i just need to find a domain
The Lesser Evil wrote:Regarding Kuttu Varizai, it seems like you had similar feelings of how placing Ramuthra in an arctic wasteland kind of removes him from the context he makes sense in. But then the question comes, what would be his new curse? Just now, I had an idea that one could restrict him to a mountaintop, such that he's been cursed with a body acclimated to only really cold regions, and therefore couldn't go down into the warm and lush climates of the lower elevation in his domain. If you went with this option, you'd probably want to put the temple on a white-topped mountain range in the middle of the domain.
Again, good idea.
The Lesser Evil wrote:I have mixed feelings of the Nzari-Wildlands border. On the one hand, the terrain transition between the Nzari and the Wildlands borders seems a little sudden and jarring. On the other hand, the Wildlands has been described by the Nzari people as forbidden and taboo. If such taboo exists, it would make sense that a distinction could be made and that the Wildlands had something to offer, as represented by plains/grasslands or less dense forested areas where it might be a bit easier to live. Perhaps a thing you might consider doing is putting transitional pieces of jungle area along a few parts of the border on the Wildlands side.
Will change that. You'r right.
The Lesser Evil wrote:The general mold for places like Monster Isle seems to have a remote or hard to reach quality around them. I would say that this Monster Isle would be too easy to see/get to, if it were not for the fact that you mentioned most boats can't make it in the water reliably. If this inability is due to specific geographical features like the Sargasso Sea and the Maelstrom, I might suggest placing Monster Isle on the other side of Saragoss and/or the Maelstrom. However, if it's a general feature of the water, then argument for moving it is less strong. If on the other hand you want to keep Monster Isle accessible, it could make for a wicked pirate haven.
At the beginning, i was thinking about making the Saragoss sea almost unavailable for sail but it would limit everything, i will need to find an advantage for Saltbitter compared to other sailors. You're right about the monsters island, it should be difficult to reach. I will put a storm and reefs around it. Just the isle with the mother of dinosaures will be free and a heaven for pirates, under her rule.