Your Wish Granted...with a Twist

[Scipio]

Granted, but as a tradeof you lose half the processor power.

I wish I had a better paying job.

[Rotipher of the FoS]

Granted. Your salary increases by 20% ... because your working hours have increased by 50%.

I wish I hadn't eaten crummy cafeteria pizza for lunch.

[Drinnik Shoehorn]

Granted. Your salary increases by 20% ... because your working hours have increased by 50%.

I wish I hadn't eaten crummy cafeteria pizza for lunch.

Granted. You didn't eat anything. Unfortunately, this caused you to have an accident which means you now can only eat through a straw.

I wish British English Spelling was the standard English Spelling used worldwide...

[Scipio]

Granted, but now English is a rarely used language, almost dead actually. So spelling it isn't that important.

I wish I had the complete runs of Buffy, Angel, and Firefly on DVD.

[JinnTolser]

Granted, but the discs are scratched beyond repair and the boxes are heavily water-damaged. You get what you pay for.

I wish LucasArts would update X-Wing vs. TIE Fighter and rerelease it.

[Scipio]

Granted, but in keeping with Lucas as of late, all the voice files for the game are done by Jar Jar Binks.

I wish I had a working dishwasher so I didn't have to do all the dishes by hand.

[Drinnik Shoehorn]

Granted, but in keeping with Lucas as of late, all the voice files for the game are done by Jar Jar Binks.

I wish I had a working dishwasher so I didn't have to do all the dishes by hand.

Granted. The authorites arrest you for keeping a slave, however.

I wish that the next wish in this thread doesn't come true.

[Spiteful Crow]

I wish that the next wish in this thread doesn't come true.

Granted.

I wish Drinnik Shoehorn would live a long and happy life.

[Drinnik Shoehorn]

I wish that the next wish in this thread doesn't come true.

Granted.

I wish Drinnik Shoehorn would live a long and happy life.

It's a good job he's already dead...

I wish this thread would never end.

[Scipio]

Granted, but it will eventually become so large as to take all the available server space, so no one can post anything else.

I wish the apartment would clean itself.

[ScS of the Fraternity]

Granted.
Bam!
Your apartment is serviced by cleaning robots. The robots use a cutting edge AI, so not only are they capable of cleaning any mess, they can predict the cause of future messes. Unfortunatly, the AI has realized that the one source of all messes is... YOU.
Special arrangements are being made to remove the last impediment to total apartment cleanliness.

I wish Itune songs were free.

[Scarycount]

Granted, but this makes the music business unprofitable and noone wants to make music anymore.

I wish I didn't have a fever anymore.

[Scipio]

Granted, unfortunately the fever you have kills you. Can't have a fever when you're dead.

I wish dinner would hurry up and cook.

[Spiteful Crow]

Granted. Time speeds up around you, and the dinner is finished before you get a chance to enjoy it.

I wish all my stuff weren't covered in cat hair.

[JinnTolser]

Granted! Your house is burglarized in the middle of the night. Now you have no stuff.

I wish playing D&D was a paying job.