I have seen the light.

Reginald de Curry · Post by **Reginald de Curry** » Fri Apr 01, 2005 8:29 am

My friends,

Recently I found myself wandering, seeking something that was missing from my life. In the core of me was a dark hole, an empty chasm of loneliness. I couldn’t understand why; I had a good job, a decent apartment, a huge library of movies, video games, books written by the Great Masters (Shakespeare, Socrates, Seuss), a car that only broke down every other Thursday after lunch—how could I be dissatisfied?

Then I met a man who showed me the error of my ways. We talked, we prayed, and he led me off the dark path I walked. He showed me THE TRUTH. He brought me ENLIGHTENMENT. That man’s name was Jack T. Chick.

Jack Chick showed me that I had skirted DAMNATION with my foolish role-playing. He opened my eyes to the links forged between Dungeons and Dragons and the OCCULT. He helped me understand the CARCINOGENIC nature of the D20 system. Jack Chick saved my SOUL, and has sent me forth to rescue others from a similar, horrible fate.

And so, FROM THIS DAY FORWARD, it will be my HOLY mission in life to bring you, my friends, to SALVATION! Yes, even Drusilla. So cast away those twenty-sided dice! Burn those Monster Manuals! Extricate yourself from those DAEMONIC RITUALS masquerading as “games” and follow the WORD OF JACK T. CHICK!!!

I believe Jack Chick is the way for you people. Seek the path of the BLESSED, and give up this EVIL “game”; I beseech thee! Fellow Sinners, turn away from your Soulless Books of Ineffable Damnation! These Tools of Vile Darkness can only have one result: CONDEMNATION TO THE DREAD PLAINS OF HECK! And it’s not nearly as exciting as it sounds!

Please, I urge you, give up this sinful game, and follow the holy word of Jack Chick.

Gemathustra · Post by **Gemathustra** » Fri Apr 01, 2005 10:06 am

Hallelujah!

Joël of the FoS · Post by **Joël of the FoS** » Fri Apr 01, 2005 10:09 am

Indeed.

Gemathustra · Post by **Gemathustra** » Fri Apr 01, 2005 10:21 am

Joël of the Fraternity wrote:Indeed.

Join us in the Light, Brother Joel!
Cast your sinfully expensive sinful books into the FLAMES of purity, so that we can save you!

Le Noir Faineant · Post by **Le Noir Faineant** » Fri Apr 01, 2005 10:26 am

Hextor help us... I fought Dragons and Troglodytes, Illithids and Invisible Ones, Gargoyles and grandmothers (I love you, grandma!), but never have I faced a decided, militant, chaotic evil christian...

Amen, my brothers in shadow!

Le Noir Faineant · Post by **Le Noir Faineant** » Fri Apr 01, 2005 10:29 am

....

Gotta find out who dared to vote for JC...

Reginald de Curry · Post by **Reginald de Curry** » Fri Apr 01, 2005 11:02 am

Gemathustra wrote:
Joël of the Fraternity wrote:Indeed.
Join us in the Light, Brother Joel!
Cast your sinfully expensive sinful books into the FLAMES of purity, so that we can save you!

Yes, Brothers, cast away these evil games, and join us in the Paradise of Eden!

Reginald de Curry · Post by **Reginald de Curry** » Fri Apr 01, 2005 11:11 am

Desdichado wrote:Hextor help us... I fought Dragons and Troglodytes, Illithids and Invisible Ones, Gargoyles and grandmothers (I love you, grandma!), but never hava I faced a decided, militant, chaotic evil christian...

You misunderstand me, sir! I merely wish to bring you the holy enlightenment that Jack Chick brought me. He has shown me that the paper cuts caused by my character sheets were God's warnings of the game's dangers! Wearing gloves is not enough; you must burn them all! Preferably in a well-ventilated area; I don't want the evil fumes to hurt your lungs.

Jason of the Fraternity · Fri Apr 01, 2005 11:12 am

In honor of Reginald's new outlook on life, I present to you...

Reginald: "I don't want to be a role-player anymore. I want to be Reggie."

Jason of the Fraternity: "Don't be stupid, Reggie. We think that you better let Spatulon take care of things. You're getting out of control..."

Le Noir Faineant · Post by **Le Noir Faineant** » Fri Apr 01, 2005 11:32 am

Reginald de Curry wrote: You misunderstand me, sir! I merely wish to bring you the holy enlightenment that Jack Chick brought me. He has shown me that the paper cuts caused by my character sheets were God's warnings of the game's dangers! Wearing gloves is not enough; you must burn them all! Preferably in a well-ventilated area; I don't want the evil fumes to hurt your lungs.

Oh my friend, what have they done to you?

He must have been completely brainwashed! One of the minor lords of hell now believes he's the leadsinger of a gospel choir!

Oh what can we do?

maraudar · Post by **maraudar** » Fri Apr 01, 2005 11:33 am

I havent seen one of those books in years... But ya know I knida like sinnin and cant see a reason to stop now when I am doing it so well after years of practice.

Maraudar

Saving? Who needs saving? I need beer, lots of fast women and a car that can outrun the cops...

Le Noir Faineant · Post by **Le Noir Faineant** » Fri Apr 01, 2005 11:38 am

Really, I've stumbled oover one of those books/pamphlets lately and I don't know what to think...

I mean, as most of you others here are American, how can it be that there are so drastical fundamentalist views of religion in one of the most civilised countries in the world? (Funny, that I, a German ask this, looking at the history of my country...)

That guy is really sick; not because he wants to *save your soul*, as he puts it, but because he indirectly threatens you with violence if you don't follow his point of view...

There're a lot of wackos out there...

Reginald de Curry · Post by **Reginald de Curry** » Fri Apr 01, 2005 12:02 pm

Jason of the Fraternity wrote:In honor of Reginald's new outlook on life, I present to you...

Reginald: "I don't want to be a role-player anymore. I want to be Reggie."

Jason of the Fraternity: "Don't be stupid, Reggie. We think that you better let Spatulon take care of things. You're getting out of control..."

Oh Brother Jason, you wound me. But I forgive you, for you know not what you do.

Now join me and avoid daemon-fire and a potential lawsuit from Dominique as we storm the Gates of Eden! In a peaceful manner, of course.

Reginald de Curry · Post by **Reginald de Curry** » Fri Apr 01, 2005 12:09 pm

Desdichado wrote:
Reginald de Curry wrote: You misunderstand me, sir! I merely wish to bring you the holy enlightenment that Jack Chick brought me. He has shown me that the paper cuts caused by my character sheets were God's warnings of the game's dangers! Wearing gloves is not enough; you must burn them all! Preferably in a well-ventilated area; I don't want the evil fumes to hurt your lungs.
Oh my friend, what have they done to you?

He must have been completely brainwashed! One of the minor lords of hell now believes he's the leadsinger of a gospel choir!

Oh what can we do?

I assure you, Brother, that my brain was indeed quite filthy. But thanks to Jack Chick, I was able to wash away the stains of D&D, and the Deadlands system for good measure! As for the choir, well, I can't quite carry a tune, but Jack allowed me to play accompaniment on my holy trombone! It compliments Jack's piano nicely.

maraudar · Post by **maraudar** » Fri Apr 01, 2005 12:12 pm

Time for your meds Reg...

...

Maraudar

Sin is only bad if it is observed and you are confronted on it.

Café de Nuit

Welcome, friends, to our establishment.

I have seen the light.

Do you seek salvation?

I have seen the light.